Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Human Willpowered Long-Haul Airlines

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This morning it was announced that Tony Robbins & Mr. Motivator have launched a new long-haul airline with a difference. Power to the plane's engines is gated by a holler-o-meter in the passenger cabin, which must be kept above "DEAFENINGLY INSPIRED!" levels by whooping, cheering, applauding and encouraging each other in very loud voices. Otherwise the plane will crash and burn, "just like your dreams if you don't work for them!" Mr. Robbins said.

We sent a reporter on a flight from Hong Kong to Istanbul to record scenes in the passenger cabin:

"... Push yourselves! Reach for the sky!" "Woooooooooo yeah" "Keep it up guys - the PLANE I mean, yes!!!" *Desperate clapping and feet stomping* "Don't stop believing. We can achieve anything. 12-hour flight? NOTHING!"

Treejuice, May 29 2019


       Well this is just prejudiced against transporting mute people and the deaf don't want to hear it.   

       Did you just assume my input preference?!!!   

       Pretty sure I was on flight like that.
not_morrison_rm, May 31 2019

       [+] Tony Robbins may have been the only thing keeping Bill Clinton flying.
4and20, Oct 28 2021

       "Flight 212, can you either move off the taxiway or call for a tow? We're on a tight schedule here."
RayfordSteele, Oct 28 2021


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