Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I have a cold/the flu

and don't normally look, sound and smell like this.
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A pin-on button, that serves as fair warning and apologia, for when you need to leave the cocoon while under the weather.
FlyingToaster, Dec 10 2015

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       This fits the situation perfectly. I'd wear one. [+]
the porpoise, Dec 10 2015
  

       We understood that the established procedure was to dress in sackcloth and ring a large bell, while declaiming "UNCLEAN ! UNCLEAN ! ", so as to warn the uninfected of your approach.
8th of 7, Dec 10 2015
  

       Quarantine
pocmloc, Dec 11 2015
  

       Quarantine Tarantino ?
8th of 7, Dec 11 2015
  

       A tissue hanged of a pin on the clothes would be a convenient standard [+]
piluso, Dec 11 2015
  

       In parts of Asia, it's just common courtesy to wear a surgical mask, although it could mean many things, including "I am a doctor."
4and20, Dec 11 2015
  

       Why is it "a cold" but "the flu"?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2015
  

       One's an adjective and one is a noun.   

       What do I win?   

       //"the flu"// is well known to be the result of the influence (Italian "influenza") of the planets, as described by astrologers. It is unitary, in the full hippy-hermetic-buddhist sense.   

       Such variations as bird flu and swine flu are therefore the result of dangerous interference between animal-based Chinese astrology and the Western zodiac.   

       You knew that, right?
pertinax, Dec 13 2015
  

       // What do I win? //   

       Five dollars, but you have to somehow mention Hitler and/or Nazis.
8th of 7, Dec 13 2015
  

       Also, there are lots of different colds., but only one flu. Just like there are lots of different Nazis, but only one Hitler.
pocmloc, Dec 13 2015
  

       // there are lots of different colds., but only one flu.// Definitely not. There are many flus. I think [pertinax]'s comment (//Italian "influenza"//) is nearer the mark.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 13 2015
  

       Impossible, otherwise it couldn’t be called //the// flu. One would instead say “I have //a// flu”.
pocmloc, Dec 13 2015
  

       I have a whole bunch of flooz.
lurch, Dec 13 2015
  

       sp: I have a whole bunch of floozies.
DrBob, Dec 14 2015
  

       No, that would make me sick.
lurch, Dec 14 2015
  

       //Impossible, otherwise it couldn’t be called //the// flu. One would instead say “I have //a// flu”.   

       That's my bet. The "the flu" turn of phrase probably originated from the 1918 pandemic.   

       Like I'm sure when birds talk about "the" meteor, there's an unwritten understanding they all mean the one that wiped out their ancestors.
the porpoise, Dec 14 2015
  

       // there are lots of different Nazis, but only one Hitler.//

For some reason I am imagining this as a chant at a football match. "Only one Hitler! There's only one Adolf Hitler! One Adolph Hiiiiitler!" etc. That's quite bad isn't it? It is, isn't it?
DrBob, Dec 14 2015
  
      
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