Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Neural Knotwork

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Time to wind up the lightning rod ...
  [vote for,

In the best gothic/steampunk tradition, the Igorrery is a Frankensteinian confection of polished brass spheres, ebony rods, glass insulators and unprotected knife switches.

The circular base of the Orrery contains a Wimshurst disc, the rotation of which is produced by any of a crank handle, a large clockwork mechanism, a falling weight, or a minature steam engine (with a Watts governor on top).

As the "planets" orbit the Sun, they accumulate massive static charges, positive or negative; as they pass close to one another, huge sparks leap from planet to planet as the breakdown voltage of air is exceeded and the charges equalise themselves.

The "Sun" can be a gas-discharge sphere, or a radiometer, or contain a neat little Jacob's Ladder spark discharger.

The orrery, in operation, is enveloped in an eye-watering purple glow of UV and brush discharge, and a nose-watering stench of ozone. It is impossible to operate any modern electronic device within a radius of 100 metres due to the huge amounts of random RF the orrery emits.

Attempting to adjust the unit when it is operating may result in severe electric shock, superficial burns, eye damage, hearing loss, neurological impairment and breathing difficulties.

The whole apparatus stands on a polished mahogany and rosewood table, and comes complete with a hunchbacked, dwarfish, disfigured eastern european attendant with a speech impediment, poor hearing, and bad eyesight, or alternatively Leonardo Di Caprio.

8th of 7, Nov 09 2014


       (+) This would be hard to ignorrery.   

       I'm pretty sure I've seen one of these in the shopping arcade in Milton Keynes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2014

       Ahem....time machine settings a bit off..you're supposed to post it before I say it...
not_morrison_rm, Nov 10 2014

       No, max, you're thinking of the machine they use to 'encourage' the lowestspending quartile of shoppers.
pocmloc, Nov 10 2014


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