Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Infrasonic Upshifter

  [vote for,

It is possible to buy such a thing as a bat detector.

This device has a microphone to pick up ultrasonic sound (actually, all sound), and a circuit that heterodynes it against a (selectable) high frequency, before outputting it to a speaker. The net result is that ultrasonic sound gets shifted into the audio range, and hence becomes hearable.

The results are really quite surprising, even in the absence of bats. You would not believe how much high-frequency noise there is in the world. The jangling coins in your pocket become cacophanous; a mechanical wristwatch sounds like a maniacal gong; a crisp fiver, when crumpled, becomes an artillery barrage. All in all, £39.99 well spent.

Howevertheless, what about infrasonics? We are assured that elephants communicate through the ground using low-frequency sound, and that the Earth itself rings like a huge bell at every minor earthquake. But can we hear this? No, we cannot.

Proposed, thenceherewith, is the Infrasonic Upshifter. Its front end is a simple microphone, but with a relatively large mass attached to the diaphragm. Placed on the ground/floor/table, it will respond well to vibrations down to a few tenths of a Hertz.

These low-frequency vibrations are up-shifted by some slightly clever circuitry, into the audio range. Naturally, there will be some lag (a 1Hz vibration will take at least a few seconds to be registered, analyzed, and reproduced as audio), but that's OK - elephants say very few things that require an urgent response.

What, you may ask, is the point? What if you have no elephants nearby? Well, who knows? The world is rich in ultrasonics that we usually don't hear, so who knows what variety of infrasonics are out there waiting to be heard? That earthquake in Eastern Pangal? The pile-driver thirty miles away? The hitherto- unknown infrasonic chit-chat of cows? The possibilities are unlimitless!

MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 24 2016

female ROAR SIDESHIFTING ? https://www.youtube...watch?v=MUBnxqEVKlk


       Excellent. And I have learned a new thing. Thankyou.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 24 2016

       An accelerometer would work too. The Freescale MMA8451/8452 goes up to 800 Hz in sample rate (which Nyquists down to 400 Hz signal).
notexactly, Jan 24 2016

       // The possibilities are unlimitless // [marked-for-tagline]
Toto Anders, Jan 25 2016

       There are certain road intersections in London where you can feel the vibration of tube trains passing underneath. This is experienced by cyclists putting one foot on the road while waiting at traffic lights because metal cycling cleats transfer these vibrations to the foot, whereas they might be absorbed by rubber-soled shoes.
hippo, Jan 25 2016

       //There are certain road intersections in London where you can feel the vibration of tube trains passing underneath.//   

       We have a subway running right in front of our building, consequently, we have to have a timetable on the wall of the fancy microscope room. You can't do nanometre-scale imaging if the building's wobbling by micrometers.
bs0u0155, Jan 25 2016

       I would just like to go on record as heartily endorsing this idea.   

       Never forget.   

       Come the revolution, [2fries], you shall have a seat on the council.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 26 2016

       In the room even...   

       Like it. I would love to hear and see the inaudible and invisible parts of the entire frequency spectrum, light as well as sound. Nothing a little gene splicing won't take care of. (+)
Sunstone, Jan 27 2016

       Hmm, with practice you might not only be able to detect earthquakes but actually predict them. Hence moving the entire cost into the 'safety budget' and more likely to get approved.
AusCan531, Jan 27 2016

       //elephants say very few things that require an urgent response//   

       "Stand aside please, we're coming through."?
pertinax, Jan 28 2016

       Joining the two shifters together would allow the first bat/elephant conversation since they diverged on the evolution pathway. The elephants would say "I remember your great, great...(2 days later), grand-father". Fortunately the batteries would run out before the resultant squeak could be downshifted.
Ling, Jan 28 2016


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