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A device with two nozzle-turrets, one on the front and one on the
top. First you tell the software where and what all of your plants
are in relation to a central point. The onboard database of
watering needs for specific plants will tell the ballistic routines
how long to apply a stream, and
how thick the stream should be
(for more "penetrating" waterings and/or wind compensation).
Soil and mulch type can be specified as well. The device will fire
a burst of water, and ask you to measure the distance of the spot
it makes from a few other known points. The device may tell you
to adjust it's location a bit.
The device is ready to water your garden. You will have to get up
early if you left the default watering time (5am). Watch as
torrents of laminar flowing water ascend (lit from the inside, of
course). And descend upon your garden. Wind? No problem! If
the ballistic routines cannot correct for this, the device will
simply wait for the wind to stop.
Onboard weather instruments can read data into variables used by
the watering program to account for rain. Alternatively, you can
put probes in your garden at specific plants and run the insulated
wires under the mulch to a patchbay on the device for more
My version just adjusts for the wind. [phoenix, Jan 07 2010]
||Forget the wind, get me the indoor version.
And DEFINITELY add the random cat auto-targetting feature. I'll even make is easy and give them RFID or IR blinking LED collars.
What is the max range for a small dollop of water?
The dogs would love it too, but they'd think it's food and catch it in their mouths.
||Disneyworld used to have a fountain system which shot little
dollops of water like 30 feet, much the same way I'm
picturing. Love the cat cannon addition.
||I like this. How about a roof-mounted icicle machine-gun?
||icicle bullets. ouch. No evidence. Baked in an old episode of Murder She Wrote
||That one goes back a lot further than that. Probably as far as ice and anger.
||I'm going to say as far back as hail and alienation of essence from self onto deity.
||But [MB]'s idea is original. The eaves could be like ammo belts.
||Hmm. Okay. I guess my idea is no less a chimera than mb's.
It is a fountain as a sprinkler with printer logic and ballistics.
The icicle machine gun with conveyance eaves which are
reloaded by the weather makes mother nature an accomplice.
You could just sit there firing the thing all year with no
ammo. Then when icicles start flying out, it's not your fault.
||I like it for trees, hedges and cats. Not so much for mulched flower beds and gardens because the ballistic stream would dig a huge crater wherever it landed.
||The purpose of the second turret was to break up torrents
headed for soft mulch. But then I realized this could be
addressed a number of different ways from the single nozzle
(eg. Short bursts calculated to break up 7 feet before
landing). An infrared beam and sensor could analyze the
flightpath for breakup and send data to the ballistic computer
to this end.
||I think as the distances to target grow longer, the impact of water being sprayed at faster rates would be damaging to one's posies.