Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I think this would be a great thing to not do.

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Say it with tentacles...
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
  [vote for,

Being male, I find the business of buying flowers for a loved one, both unfamiliar and distressing. Unfamiliar, because I rarely do it, distressing because I tend to buy ones that don't suit the personality of the individual, such as plants that are ugly, stinky, and die young...

I propose the following solution - InterFauna[tm]. This service would be a 'World-First', combining personalised greetings, next-day delivery and taxidermy.

Basically, you pick a stuffed animal to be hand-delivered to your intended, after consulting our team of expert advisors on the product range and gift wrapping options.

The 'Budget' service would be limited to 'roadkill' plus a greeting card. The 'Premier' service would have exotic animals arranged in a majestic pose, with your choice of facial expression:- Horny Hamster[tm], Sad Snake[tm], Sheepish Wolf[tm], etc.

For extra-special occasions, such as divorce proceedings, the animal could be delivered live... (e.g. Amorous Alligator)

note: Sick Squid [tm] is currently on special offer at $10 (UK: £6)

riposte, Jun 09 2001

Would it look something like this? http://www.biscuits...ut-dead/special.htm
A friend and I came up with the idea of a spoof company supplying dead animals as pets - this page is as far as I got before lethargy and procrastination set in. (there is an about.htm in addition to the special.htm I have linked) [Rodomontade, Jun 09 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Interfauna www.interfauna.com
Link problem? [wagster, Mar 09 2005]


       Peter, part of the idea is to have the beast delivered and with a note...so this ain't baked.   

       And Una, you know paragraph 5 is funny.
iuvare, Jun 10 2001

       Pensive Porcupine. Wish-You-Were-Here Wombat. Shake Them Blues Blue Whale. Bouquets of flowers are *so* 20th-century. After all, if you use only the remains of animals dead of natural causes then it's no worse than slicing off the reproductive organs of plants and trying to keep them looking fresh and 'natural' for a little while before pitching them in the dustbin, eh?
Dog Ed, Jun 10 2001

       //it's no worse than slicing off the reproductive organs of plants and trying to keep them looking fresh and 'natural'//   

       Eeek... Doesn't sound so romantic when you put it that way.
PotatoStew, Jun 11 2001

       [Mephista] Me? Bitter? Does it show? Maybe I shouldn't have placed the flowers in the sink first. (Damn that waste-disposal switch...)   

       I will have to console myself with live gerbils which sound intriguing - and quite versatile...
riposte, Jun 11 2001

       Of course, there was a (arguably) big thing a few years ago about what, exactly, qualified as natural. Frankly, I don't think animals which have died of disease, old age, etc. would make very good presents for a loved one, anyway. A loathed one, however...
nick_n_uit, Jun 12 2001

       It sounds like something a cat would do.
badoingdoing, Jun 13 2001

       I think you should just be able to deliver them a live animal - imagine, instead of sending dead roses to an ex-boyfriend, you could send him a live wolverine or perhaps a box of one dozen crazed weasels.
submitinkmonkey, Mar 09 2005


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