Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Internet Marriage

Marry over the internet
  (+13, -22)(+13, -22)
(+13, -22)
  [vote for,

Both of you log on with the same login and password. Enter your names, birthdays, and other marriage required info, and a form appears. Each of you press the I do buttons, and an animated ring appears. Print the contract and you're ready to go!

P.S. Sorry if there are already these kind of websites!

sickideas123, Aug 16 2002

(?) Fu, Fme http://www.fu-fme.com/
Adult content. Who dreams this shit up, anyway? [Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002]

FECHA http://www.webstati...e.com/fecha/wed.htm
First Electronic Church of America [the_jxc, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

How to Get Married on the Internet http://marriage.abo...owto/htcyberwed.htm
Summary: You can't get legally married online. [jutta, Oct 04 2004, last modified Apr 25 2007]


       That's about as romantic as a tax audit. Fishbone -- and how! I think just about any Tom, Dick, or Gordon would fishbone this. And what do the two partners do for the kiss? Honestly! Where DID you leave your heart?
LaSparkster, Aug 16 2002

       Ponytail fasteners with the "Superman" S on them? :)
LaSparkster, Aug 16 2002

       Then all you need is the fufme drive to consummate the marriage, huh?
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002

       Click the linky.. on second thought, it's probably better not to..
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002

       Lycos chat operates a system whereby members who entered an age over eighteen can get 'virtually married', or something like that anyway.   

       "Do you, fishbone, take thee, internet marriage, to be your lawful wedded husband?"
NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002

       I said, on second thought, it's probably better not to..
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002

       So, they go in a spare drive slot?? God, imagine having a PC between your legs... I suppose tower users are at an advantage... and is that an *eject* button? I'll stop.
What a sick world we live in....
NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002

       FISHBONE it
smokeyjohnson, Aug 16 2002

       ...I did
NickTheGreat, Aug 16 2002

       this might actually come about for marriages of convenience. my tenth husband from eastern Europe (what was his name now?)
po, Aug 16 2002

       The resurrected Sparki is obviously an imposter. There has been not a single reference to the Farrelly Brothers in this latest run.
waugsqueke, Aug 16 2002

       I was the Minister for a shotgun wedding in a Chat room once.
thumbwax, Aug 16 2002

       were you defrocked before or after?
po, Aug 16 2002

       It would be lovely, instead of a divorce, to be able to hit the "Delete" key....
banshee, Aug 16 2002

       //defrocked//before, after a_n_d during
thumbwax, Aug 16 2002

       *they* tell me it was a very pretty frock and you borrowed Afro's feather boa. I wish I could have been there. Are there photos at all?
po, Aug 16 2002


destroy, edit,
Mr Burns, Aug 16 2002

       Just look at the username...sickideas123, it explains it all.
Bert6322, Aug 17 2002

       Paraphrased: "The problem with marriage is it is too easy to get into and too difficult to get out of. It should be the other way around."
ImBack, Aug 22 2002

       Well I'm voting for this. I've never really seen why marriage should have any status over other forms of relationship so this would be a great way of undermining it. Croissant.
DrBob, Aug 22 2002

       I'm voting for it, too. The idea doesn't state that you'd HAVE to get married this way, only that you could if you wanted to. I can see why someone might not want to get married this way themselves, but why would anyone oppose other people using this method?
mrthingy, Aug 23 2002

       ...because if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it kinda makes sense for you both to be in the same room (not chat room) at the same time and, you know, commit to each other in person.

I mean, if you're not even going to take the time to commit to each other in person, why even get married in the first place?
iuvare, Aug 23 2002

       Why get married when there are devices such as the one presented in the link...like mom always said "why buy the cow when you could just buy a sexual disk drive for virtual sex"...or something to that effect
gniterobot, Aug 23 2002

       I really hope that thing has some sort of easy-clean system.   

       *Ray runs off to delete his 'cellphone kissing-lips attachment' before thcgenius sees it.
RayfordSteele, Aug 24 2002

       I think if people want to get married over the internet its there problem who are we to judge...
tangleoflove, Sep 30 2002

       ...its there problem who are we to judge...   

       Good point...so how'd you come to the conclusions that (a) it's a problem; (b) that it's theirs; (c) that we shouldn't judge; (d) that it's your duty to tell us we shouldn't judge?
iuvare, Oct 09 2002

       i do
Thursday, Jul 13 2003

       I like hamburgers
frenchkiss, Nov 17 2003

       Two links added, this is pretty much baked. But it's nauseating. Fish.
the_jxc, Nov 27 2003

       //i do
Thursday, Jul 13 2003 //

       You know it's been a long day when you can hear tomorrow talking.
k_sra, Mar 17 2004

       But will we permit persons of the same OS to marry?
normzone, Dec 29 2004

       marriage over the internet is not legal and binding. although it could be taken as the first step, i would still prefer the real thing, including the consummation of the marriage.
babytoes, May 15 2006

       Heh! Baked. Not only do i have an internet wife but I've got an internet son as well. Technology is such a wonderful thing! I wonder how they're getting on?
DrBob, May 15 2006

       //I like hamburgers//   

       Hah Ha HA! google thee to Germany!
Zimmy, May 16 2006

       I think you've kinda sucked the fun and the feeling out of marriage there. Granted you can learn alot about someone over the net, but marriage? [-]
kuupuuluu, May 16 2006

       Those of you voting against this idea are probably against same-sex and interracial marriages as well. You make me sick.
victor, May 16 2006

       It's that sort of narrow-minded generalisation, based on no evidence whatsoever, that we can well do without.
DrBob, May 16 2006

       yeah, but you could have passed him a bucket.
po, May 16 2006

       would you like a fish? the-air waaffer thin!(I hadn't voted until:   

       //probably against same-sex and interracial marriages //   

       I sure am, just don't tell my wife - I'd not survive <sarcasm alert>.)
Zimmy, May 16 2006

       Whew, good thing I searched. I was gonna call it "A nice day for a Web Wedding". Damn, where's that HB rimshot soundbite option again?   

       In the annos DrBob succinctly made a point that I would have belabored with three paragraphs. (watch out, I'm gonna do it anyway).   

       So how 'bout it? I'd even put wedding/divorce options in vending machines in every mall, city hall, gas pump, fast food drive-up menu board, and airport.   

       The idea being to dilute this nonsense to the point where it eventually, finally, most deservedly, loses all the misguided and warped vestige of legitimacy it has accumulated over the centuries.   

       What cracked pot sense of logic inspires the (typically conservative) libertarian to demand freedom from a government's claims on his actions, then marches the next day in the street with a placard exhorting that same government to strengthen the institution of marriage through federal legislation? Wha????? I know, it's the homophobia talkin' there, (and the state's rights miscegenists.. and at least a few misogynists if you want to dig a little deeper) but those can't account for such near unanimity here. Somehow we who think the government should have no business at all in recognizing any and all forms of union between consenting adults are astonishingly few. It's tatamount to suggesting anarchy to even bring it up in conversation. And it is not at all suggesting anarchy!   

       Marriage via web. And vending machines. And certificates in CrackerJack boxes. Let's get over it.
outloud, Dec 13 2009


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