Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It's Raining Cheese

grind cheese and cover food with it
  (+7)
(+7)
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"It's Raining Cheese" is a powered device for use in the kitchen that is capable of coating anything placed within its confines with a layer a of grated cheese.

There's how it works:
At the front of "It's Raining Cheese" is an opening large enough to permit the insertion of a variety of different types of food, from single slices of bread, cream crackers etc, to entire pizzas. On detecting this new presence, a continuous rain of cheese begins to fall from the inner ceiling of the apparatus. This event occurs because the device's internal grinder and conveyor belt have been activated. Excess cheese is simply recycled inside the machine as it falls though the grill under the food receiving tray.

As a refinement, a simple knob permits the selection of 3 basic varieties of cheese: parmesan, cheddar or mozzarella.

"Large or fine particles" is the other control option. Cheese coating may be heavy or light according to the length of time the food is exposed to the rain of cheese.

Deluxe version features adjustable strobe light for the added drama of motion freezing the cheese particles in mid descent.

xenzag, Nov 27 2018

Cheese sputtering gun Cheese_20sputtering_20gun
[hippo, Nov 28 2018]

[link]






       Certainly. +
blissmiss, Nov 28 2018
  

       Dibs on not cleaning this.
pertinax, Nov 28 2018
  

       I assume this is mounted inside the fridge so you don't have to take the cheese out and clean it every time you us it.
scad mientist, Nov 28 2018
  

       Pesky iPad keeps changing words.... grind became find.....corrected - grrrrrrrrrr.
xenzag, Nov 28 2018
  

       High overusage coefficient. [+]
whatrock, Nov 28 2018
  

       This could be made more efficient with explosives. What's needed is a vast block of cheddar attached to a ceramic plate with various small shaped charges bonded to its surface. A camera detects the shape of the bread or other item to be cheeses, and detonates the appropriate set of shaped charges to simultaneously melt and eject the cheese, perfectly coating the target.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 28 2018
  

       // This could be made more efficient with explosives //   

       More efficient, probably not. More entertaining, definitely. Previous impromptu research using a 38mm flare pistol and a block of catering cheddar entirely disproved the theory that it is possible to improvise a low-lethality projectile weapon typical of the sort of device that The A-Team are frequently portrayed as using. It's also incredibly difficult to clean up the pulverized cheese, and the smell lingers for months.
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018
  

       // clean up the pulverized cheese //   

       Cats. Lots of cats.
whatrock, Nov 29 2018
  

       //small shaped charges//   

       I think the brief was to coat the target with particles of cheese, not to pierce it with high-energy projectile fondue.   

       Toast would be unsalvageable, and even a pizza base would spall, would it not?
pertinax, Nov 29 2018
  

       //high-energy projectile fondue// see link
hippo, Nov 29 2018
  

       ... quod erat deprecandum
pertinax, Nov 29 2018
  

       I was just shooting the Bries.
Ian Tindale, Nov 29 2018
  

       Caerphilly now - we don't want to start yet another cheese puns thread
hippo, Nov 29 2018
  

       A feta worse than death.
xenzag, Nov 29 2018
  

       For the love of cod! I've just about haddock up to here with this plai.. Oops, sorry. Wrong thread.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018
  

       Well it’s a good thing that cheese and fish puns are 100% recyclable, it’d be too much work to think of actual new ones each time.
Ian Tindale, Nov 29 2018
  

       I wonder if the Venn diagram for cheese puns and fish puns has any region of overlap?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018
  

       The only place you'll find that information is in the Necronomicon ... Olaus Wormius' Latin version, as printed in Spain in the seventeenth century, not Dr Dee's English version.
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018
  

       //cheese puns and fish puns// Cheese and fish, like the farmer and the cowboy, can be friends. After all look what happened when a rabbit and a block of cheddar cheese spent time together in Wales.
xenzag, Nov 29 2018
  

       Yes, but that was in Wales, where the normal diet is seaweed and slate.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 29 2018
  

       Of course, in the posh restaurants it's served with rain sauce.
8th of 7, Nov 29 2018
  

       How do you clean up the pulverized cats after unexploded ordinance has been eaten?
RayfordSteele, Nov 30 2018
  

       //100% recyclable//   

       Sadly no. They degrade somewhat with each cycle. I think it has to do with the length of the strands.
pertinax, Nov 30 2018
  

       // How do you clean up the pulverized cats //   

       Napalm.
8th of 7, Nov 30 2018
  

       //I wonder if the Venn diagram for cheese puns and fish puns has any region of overlap?// - Brie-m
hippo, Nov 30 2018
  

       Go on, [hippo], get up the ladder ... you should be flattered, we built the Wicker Man especially for you.
8th of 7, Nov 30 2018
  

       ... said the man who coined "Murtaugh on the Orient Express"?
pertinax, Dec 01 2018
  

       You're just jealous that you didn't think of it.
8th of 7, Dec 01 2018
  

       instant powdered milk does not taste like cheese but perhaps you could have a 10 gallon thing of milk gradually go down a tube with a laser at the tip and a gradually rotating plate to make aged cheese droplets that eventually find their way to the exit rotating plate.
beanangel, Dec 01 2018
  

       + cheesy snow globe
xandram, Dec 01 2018
  

       ^ Available now as a 2m diameter inflatable for installation in front of your house.   

       // make aged cheese //   

       The production of cheese is a fermentation process; a laser would be, at best, unhelpful.
8th of 7, Dec 01 2018
  
      
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