Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Jiffy-Pop Maternity Clothing

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My wife is beginning to look a lot like a partially-popped container of Jiffy-Pop popcorn.

The idea is to create a line of sleek, form-fitting apparel that can be worn before pregnancy and in its early stages without looking like one is out for a day's shoplifting. The great advantage, though, is that through the magic of Jiffy-Pop technology, the same garments expand gracefully with the woman's advancing girth, and can be worn just as efficiently throughout the pregnancy.

When the time comes, though, if you tear the garments like you do the popcorn foil, the woman is also spared the ignominy of having to wear all her friends' hand-me-down maternity clothes.

beauxeault, Dec 19 2001


       i suppose this could be done with a lot of well placed pleats, gussets, and velcro.   

       but having to tear the clothes to deliver the baby is a bit much.   

       "baby-pop, as much fun to deliver, as it is to make" (lol)
wess, Dec 19 2001

       So I take it she can't wash for 36 weeks either. hmmm. My friend the medic says that women are badly presented enough by the time it comes to sprogdropping time, without adding in the not-having-washed aspect... yuk.
lewisgirl, Dec 19 2001

       Actually, I am grateful to report that she laughed when I told her that. I do consider it a lucky escape, though.   

       lewisgirl, I didn't intend to imply that a single garment would have to be worn throughout the entire pregnancy. The last paragraph was just meant to continue a silly image to its logical conclusion (since you have to tear open the popcorn package). I'll modify the text in hopes of making this clearer, because your objection is certainly a valid one.
beauxeault, Dec 19 2001

       thank you for the clarification.
lewisgirl, Dec 19 2001

       a) Congratulations
b) It doesn't matter what she wears, the time will come when *everything* "makes (her) look fat"

       Mumble something about a glow and walk away, my friend.
phoenix, Dec 19 2001

       A: also congratulations B: I wore the same dress throughout, and burnt it shortly after giving birth, "tent" I think it was called. Tearing it off would have been great. I hated it.
arora, Dec 19 2001

       I know they have something like this for breastfeeding mothers. My wife got some through a mail-order catalog and you honestly can not tell that they open up, unless you look at her while she is either feeding or opening/closing the hole she protrudes from. Don't see why lycra (don't bash me yet) can't be used here. Lycra expands fairly nicely, when it gets past a certain point is when it startes getting those white strech lines in it.
barnzenen, Dec 19 2001


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