Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Jumpstarting Sheep

When it's gotta start; first time
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

A large flock of sheep are crossing the road, oblivious to the impending danger. One leaps over an imaginary fence and the rest follow, as sheep are wont to do.

Without warning, one of them stops in the path of the oncoming semi-trailer. Suddenly, a man in a pair of blue overalls runs out onto the road, dragging a small trolley. He unrolls two cables and attaches large alligator clips to either side of the sheep, then flips a switch on the trolley.

The sheep leaps to life again, springing off the road to safety. The man in overalls quickly pushes his trolley out of the way, waving to the truck driver as he passes.

UnaBubba, May 25 2012

Start Ya Bastard http://www.nulon.co...arter/#.T8QYAtVDyuo
[Phrontistery, May 28 2012]

Sheep land on top of cars http://www.news.com...rfkvr-1226378368846
[AusCan531, Jun 01 2012]


       isn't that a man with a brown store-coat, a flat cap and roll-up hanging from his lip, I'm picturing a little more old-school...
not_morrison_rm, May 25 2012

       No longer. He's a proud franchise operator these days, with snappy blue overalls and a large JS and lightning logo on his chest.
UnaBubba, May 25 2012

       I saw a guy jump a startled sheep once.
AusCan531, May 25 2012

       Were you in the south island at the time?
UnaBubba, May 25 2012

       People would pay good money for this where I live.
Phrontistery, May 25 2012

       Pure deja vu. 3331 days ago...
lurch, May 25 2012

       [AusCan531], too funny.
blissmiss, May 25 2012

       There should be a Nobel Prize for this under the _____ category <<(currently undefined) [+]
Grogster, May 25 2012

       In Maine, we have a similar problem with tourists, who exhibit many ovine behavioral traits. Does this mean I'm allowed to electrocute them?
Alterother, May 25 2012

       //Were you in the south island at the time?//   

       Naw. It takes a lot to startle a sheep there these days. (and thank you blissy)
AusCan531, May 26 2012

       I should have waited another 2 days, [lurch]?
UnaBubba, May 26 2012

       This can't work. BLUE overalls? What were you thinking? Apart from the obvious reason, there is also the fact that sheep are startled by the colour blue, and are likely to freeze on the spot, regardless of electrocution. This is one of the reasons why sheep wranglers seldom wear blue.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 26 2012

       That's actually a little-known but very interesting phenomenon, [Lord Maxwell]. You see, while a sheep can visually perceive the color blue, it is completely unable to comprehend it. Therefore, anything that is predominantly blue in color or pigmentation is visible to the sheep's eye but _invisible_ to the sheep's mind, causing the poor to suffer a moment of profound existential dread.   

       Sheep have excellent comprehension of all other colors, however, so why this gap in cogitational capacity should occlude only the color blue remains a mystery to science. The most popular theory is that it is a genetic defect, a trait passed from some obscure ancestral species that evolved in an environment that contained nothing blue, which gave this unknown proto-ovine no need to think about the color blue or indeed even know what it was.   

       Fortunately, sheep have very short attention spans, enabling them to forget what is so utterly terrifying about not knowing what blue is before the shock of it sends them into cardiac arrest. Usually.
Alterother, May 26 2012

       //[Lord Maxwell]// Please, "Lord Maxwell" is so stuffy and formal. "M'lud" will do fine.   

       But you are doubtless fully correct in your observation regarding sheep. It's one of evolution's little bludners, and is reminiscent of the Madagascar Cave Lemur, which has the sharpest eyes of any mammal but no visual cortex.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 26 2012

       You, sir, are apparently a fuckwit. As you were.
UnaBubba, May 27 2012

       Gee, nice.
AusCan531, May 27 2012

       [Ubie] loves me really. He just finds it difficult to express himself, being Australian. Still, the "sir" is an improvement.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 27 2012

       Ah. Two alpha males, with only half a bakery between them - this was always going to be interesting.   

       If you would be so kind, gentlemen, as not to break up the furniture...   

       {gingerly moves the antique barometer-cum-blunderbuss out of harm's way, behind the hilsch-vortex beer-cooler}   

       {thinks: should I start taking side bets?}
pertinax, May 27 2012

       //You, sir, are apparently a fuckwit.// And, right on cue, the other side of the deja vu coin.
lurch, May 27 2012

       No need to clear the room. I am quite happy to be a beta fuckwit - it's a step up from my employer's assessment.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 27 2012

       // should I start taking side bets?//   

       We'll have a quid on [MB]. Although since [UB] went to a boarding school too, he probably fights equally dirty.   

       <Discreetly starts putting bottles under bar, checks on Knobkerry, hopes piano won't get shot again>
8th of 7, May 27 2012

       considering that I live in a country where we used to have 80 million sheep for 4 million people, I would buy this, purely to improve travel times along the back roads where sheep commonly block the road while they bustle around your car trying to jump in. [+]
christjan08, May 27 2012

       //where the farmers secretly shag their sheep.//. Whereas you're proud to flaunt your 'inter species love' proclivities in the open as you feel no shame, eh [xenzag]? In your case, I imagine the sheep involved are the ones who go around in dark glasses and with their collars rolled up to cover their faces.
AusCan531, May 27 2012

       That's OK. Aardvark never hurt anyone.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 28 2012

       //Aardvark never hurt anyone.//   

       It always starts with aardvarks - but before you know it you're looking at an ugly zebu and wondering where your long weekend went.
AusCan531, May 28 2012

       Zygotes, probably.
UnaBubba, May 28 2012

       How insulting - a man has standards you know.
AusCan531, May 29 2012

       Most of them don't.
UnaBubba, May 29 2012

       Who started this sheep - jumping thing anyway? [link] (graphic image warning)
AusCan531, Jun 01 2012

       I watched a goat dancing on top of someone's new car when I was a child. VERY upset car owner.
UnaBubba, Jun 01 2012

       //goat dancing //Just in time for the jubilee.
skinflaps, Jun 01 2012

       Gives "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" a whole new meaning.
sqeaketh the wheel, Jun 02 2012

Alterother, Jun 02 2012

       It would be the end of the sport of roadkill.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 03 2012


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