Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Kiwi farming

Save them from extinction by eating them!
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I'm so tired right now I can't remember whether I came up with this idea myself or not, but I think I did.

Basically start farming kiwis and sell them as a delicacy to countries like Japan, to stop them from becoming extinct.

They're pretty round and meaty, probably taste like chicken. Just have to feed them on something other than worms.

zero5, Sep 23 2001


       //Save them from extinction by eating them!// AND
//Basically start farming kiwis and sell them as a delicacy to countries like Japan//
Like whales? I think the Japanese would rather myopically harvest them into extinction.
sdm, Sep 23 2001

       eat half a kiwi and save the rest for later
po, Sep 23 2001

       Please sir, I want some moa...   

       <Been waiting YEARS to use that line...>
StarChaser, Sep 23 2001

       Baked - ish. This was in fact suggested by one of our MPs. The department of conservation were none too impressed, but apart from them no-one really took too much interest the idea. The problem here isn't so much not enough Kiwis, it's too many possums and stoats.
ChadValiantJnr, Sep 23 2001, last modified Sep 24 2001

       Ah that's probably where it came from. I didn't think it was something that had materialised in my brain.   

       The point is, that people would get more into breeding them and making sure they can make lots of kiwis if there was a commerical incentive. And would then spend money on making sure possums don't eat them.
zero5, Sep 25 2001

       Possums'll eat anything. The ones in downtown Melbourne are particularly fond of pizza (and, I found out to my cost, pizza flavoured fingers).
Lemon, Sep 25 2001

       Kiwi eat stuff they find in leaf litter and in the ground - worms, bugs, etc. This will almost certainly have an impact on the taste of the meat...   

       In any case, early European settlers tried eating most of the local birds, and since they didn't set to kiwi farming we can probably be assured that they don't taste that good. Moas, however, evidently did taste good, as the early Polynesian settlers hunted *them* to extinction. There were several different kinds and sizes - the giant moa is probably not even the best option for farming (should we be able to clone it from bone fragments - don't hold your breath).   

       Kiwis could be made acceptably tasty by the application of American farming methods tho' - put much $ and energy into producing grain and converting the grain into feed, then let the kiwis eat nothing else (this is what they're doing with catfish now, as well as cattle etc.) so they taste as bland as possible. Wasteful and expensive and not the real thing at all.
non3ntity, Jul 28 2002

       non3ntity , i wonder whether cannibals would prefer 'organic' humans? BTW, pizza & bread are quite unsuitable food for possums, according to my zookeeper friend. A controlle cull of possums in Melbourne would increae the quality of life for the remaining possums, and even more for the humans. And vice-versa, of course..
pfperry, Jul 28 2002

       hmm... organic humans... your 'shock value' cannibal would probably go for the organic (or wild!) humans, but I suspect your mom'n'pop cannibals will prefer carefully farmed and antibiotic-laden humans, with a lower risk of horrible diseases like kuru and BSE/CJD associated with cannibalism.   

       But I digress - my partner, a chef, is right behind kiwi farming - people will eat anything once (and there are a lot of people).
non3ntity, Jul 28 2002

       Bury 6 feet deep & add water.
thumbwax, Jul 28 2002

       Kiwis are the most aggressive little buggers I've ever seen. They're barely a foot tall, but the scoot along chasing anything and everything out of their territory. They'd attack the keepers in their penns and all that, so the handlers have to wear tall boots to prevent from getting pecked at.
mailtosalonga, Jun 16 2004


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