Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Keyboard Aquarium

"Crumbs? What crumbs?"
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
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Every so often, I turn my keyboard over and all manner of shit falls out of it... staples, crumbs, desiccated moths, eyelashes, etc.

There has to be a better way.

Given the number of hours we spend at our computers, UBCo has been working on a solution to alleviate boredom *and* resolve the problem of keyboard crap building up between the keys.

The keys are arranged on a strong metal scaffold, suspended above a small aquarium, fitted with state of the art filtration and lighting, powered via USB connection.

Anything that falls on the keyboard now passes through and into the miniature "shark pool" below, doomed to be consumed or to sink to the tiny Davy Jones Locker beneath your fingers.

Now you have an excuse to eat crumbly foods whilst at your computer.

UnaBubba, Oct 29 2020

These little guys? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfish
Behold! The family of Handfish! [UnaBubba, Oct 30 2020]


       All foods become crumbly given sufficient time. Brilliant! [+]   

       Plus, cycle of life: include edible* fishes in the tank, harvest for fish fingers**, consume at keyboard...   

       *depending on the culture where you live on Earth2B, Discworld, LibrarySpace (basically, anywhere UPS can deliver)   

       **We have seen 'fish' with fingers, likely able to lift the keyboard and make an escape, but they are not technically fishes. We mean the cleverly- confusingly-named crumbly slabs.
Sgt Teacup, Oct 29 2020

       Great. Absolutely outstanding. An innovation that would actually encourage an aquarium-lover to use her keyboard as a dinner plate.   

       So, no. Absolutely not.   

       We won't bone this because it is indeed halfbaked, but no croissant either.
8th of 7, Oct 29 2020

       I suspect it's the only fishy thing you wouldn't bone, [8/7]
UnaBubba, Oct 29 2020

       USB-C has enough (100W) power to play with that you're in the realm of the feasible here. You can easily do a nice little built-in canister style pressurized filter for ~5-10W a little lighting for a few more Watts and 25W is enough in most environments to keep ~5 gallons at a toasty 25C, which would be nice in winter.   

       You could arrange the keyboard with enclosed sections around the sides and back, and make the keys/support structure out of a nice optically clear acrylic. If you keep it nice and shallow, then stock it with something like pygmy cory catfish & some shrimp then you could look down through your keys at all sorts of lovely activity.
bs0u0155, Oct 29 2020

       But does USB have enough power to cook the fishfingers? (cf. [SgtTeacup]'s annotation)
hippo, Oct 29 2020

       An infinite number of sea-monkeys inside an infinite number of Keyboard Aquariums could recreate all of the lost works of Atlantis.   

       "All foods become crumbly given sufficient time."   

       And you know this how??? I'm not disagreeing, I just thought I was the only one that left a half-eaten yogurt container under my bed for a year.   

       (UnaBubba, I just got what you meant talking to 8th. It took me three reads, but finally, I understood and laughed, very hard.)
blissmiss, Oct 31 2020

       We didn't laugh at all; we just jammed yet more steel hatpins into our wax model of [UB] ...
8th of 7, Oct 31 2020

       Well [bliss], "all foods become crumbly" speaks to general rate of desiccation, and predation by fungi and other organisms rendering foodstuffs friable and/or frangible, suitable for compost or further study.   

       The three exceptions* are hardtack (Lewis & Clark's ship's biscuits), Egyptian loaves (plain, date, fig, or coriander), and dwarf bread, all of which continue to be consumable**.   

       *Not enough time has passed for science to have seen evidence of change.   

       **Provided you have lots of hot water for soaking, a hammer, and diamond teeth.
Sgt Teacup, Nov 01 2020

       Thank you for the lesson on crusty food 101, Sgt Teacup. I'm much more aware now of the fragile existence of "Egyptian loaves", relative to the history of this planet, I think.
blissmiss, Nov 02 2020

       [+] got a smile around the the group I mentioned it to.
wjt, Nov 06 2020


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