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Kitty Constipation Kit

Here, Kitty Kitty Kitty...
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

When the inevitable time comes that Fluffy is obviously constipated, you are prevented from helping because Fluffy misinterprets your good intentions. At that point he will see it as a battle to the death and wrapping him up in all the towels in the house will not be enough to contain him and prevent you from suffering major arterial damage.

The Kitty Constipation Kit solves that problem for you. It consists of a sturdy bag made with claw-proof Kevlar K129 - on one end is a large opening with a cinch strap to quickly close around Fluffy's neck so that only his head is exposed. On the other end of the bag is a dual-purpose hole where the warm water or mineral oil is gently inserted with a suitable high pressure device, such as a waterpik or other pressure regulated pump. When Fluffy realizes that you are there to help him overcome his minor metabolic setback, he will let you know with a contented purring sound that is strangely amplified by the Kevlar bag.

Another part of the kit is a handy tripod to hang the bag from, that can be set up over the disposal method of your choice, be it cat box or even toilet. It is then that the dual-purpose nature of the hole becomes clear. (be sure to remove the pump first to avoid unpleasantness)

Once the evolution is complete, the tripod is collapsed and safely stored in the bag. You may then throw this sturdy kit in the basement or nearby storage unit for future use. NOTE: Remove cat first.

Grogster, Jan 18 2011

The Old Way of Helping Fluffy http://www.catenema...tenema.com/cat.html
Why bother with this method when you can do it safely with the Kitty Constipation Kit? . [Grogster, Jan 18 2011]

Kärcher http://www.karcher....engine/11947010.htm
Quite remarkably effective. [8th of 7, Jan 18 2011]


       the mind boggles at what it is exactly you are attempting to do. .. cats quite like eating grass to aid their digestion.
po, Jan 18 2011

       // pressure regulated pump. //   

       For instance, <link>   

       // throw in the basement or nearby storage unit //   

       ... or trash.   

       // Remove cat first //   

       Eh ?
8th of 7, Jan 18 2011

       Now I worry about exactly where my waterpik has been...
RayfordSteele, Jan 18 2011

       Woah, kitty enema - "The Halfbakery, mapping new ground for Rule #34 since 1999"
zen_tom, Jan 18 2011

       The mind boggles? The mind must be easily bogglable. I would think this a rather more humane method that the old Roll-Em-In-A-Towel method, and result is fewer CATastrophic arterial events for the kitty owner.   

       Maybe this will help: for a few dollars more, the Kevlar bag can be outfitted with a soothing music system.
Grogster, Jan 18 2011

       There is an easier way. Just wrap a piece of dry ice in some meat, feed to cat, hold cat's mouth shut. Beware recoil.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 18 2011


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