Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
A dish best served not.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Koranic Psychowarfare

Or is that Quranic?
(+3, -3)
  [vote for,

This has to be done in complete secrecy, so don't tell anyone, OK? It starts out like this: we load up some stealth bombers with tons of small dead fish and garter snakes, and in the night we drop these over various cities in Afghanistan. On day two we include thousands of small flat stones inscribed with verses from the Koran about not killing people, and lots of maggot-infested meat. After two weeks or so, when the plague of flies hatched out of the meat should be abating, we escalate to huge drops of live wasps, fire ants, and Africanized honeybees. A carefully targeted cannister of sand released by the space shuttle creates a firestorm of meteors over Afghanistan on one night, and at the same time more Koranic stones are distributed, calling for the punishment of all killers. And it just goes on and on...

The Afghan intelligentsia will probably twig that something's fishy, but if enough anti-terrorist, anti-bin Laden fervor can be ignited among the peasantry then they will accomplish our mission for us. Hey UB and sdm, how about collecting some vipers for us? Oz has more poisonous snakes than anywhere else in the world, I believe?

Dog Ed, Sep 18 2001


       How about sending a notice to the Southern Baptist Convention in the US to gather for a tribute to Jerry Falwell and Jack Van Impe, and then we nuke the whole lot of them?   

       Just because there are some idiots at the top and/or with power doesn't mean that the general populace is like that.   

       It makes me nervous when people suggest torturing a large number of innocent people in order to make a few extremists uncomfortable; especially when the ones suggesting come from a first-world country with plenty of education, health care, and food to fill their bellies.
lewarcher, Sep 18 2001

       Peter: In all seriousness, what you suggest should be the absolute bedrock of US foreign policy vis-a-vis Islam. But the trouble with the peacemakers is, the damned aggressive radicals tend to out-shout them and win the hearts of the angry and disillusioned. Plus, there are strong evangelical and holy war traditions in both Islam and Christianity (accounting, in my view, for the rapid spread of both religions) and that is difficult to overcome. Parenthetically, please note that although Koranic Psychowarfare is not a serious idea I do not mean to detract from the seriousness of the real situation. It's a bit of black humor in the face of a very ugly, very real dilemma.   

       [lewarcher: You are a good humanitarian, and I applaud that. Would a full-scale invasion of Afghanistan be less damaging than this admittedly tongue-in-cheek proposal?]
Dog Ed, Sep 18 2001

       Jeez. I feel driven to write more. (Please, make it stop!)   

       1. If the civilized countries of the world do nothing to respond to the WTC violence, then more violence can be expected. Therefore we must do something.   

       2. Osama bin Laden's organization is centered in Afghanistan, which refuses to cooperate in his extradition, and has in fact declared a holy war against the United States. Therefore if we wish to 'do something' against bin Laden we must--   

       3. Invade Afghanistan and expect great casualties on both sides;   

       4. Use bombs and missiles to pulverize suspected terrorist camps, a strategy which has not been effective in the past and will no doubt result in the death of many Afghans.   

       To me it seems that the USA, and the world, faces a very difficult Gordian knot. I don't know how to cut it, and I doubt that it can be done except partially and with very ugly side effects. Suggestions, anyone?
Dog Ed, Sep 19 2001

       A delegation from the 55-nation Organisation of Islamic Conference tried reason with Taliban, ObL, et al to no avail regarding Buddhist Idol destruction - They had to toe the line - then - no telling how difficult a position they must be in now.

Japan had sent a 7 million dollar aid package following the destruction of Buddhist Idols. The money is gone now - Taliban still claims it does does not see the religious, cultural and political chasm they created as being of their own creation. It is the medias fault according to them. Talk about denial.
thumbwax, Sep 19 2001

       I'll tell you what we (Australia,) will do. We'll send that Crocodile Hunter guy over to Afghanistan to stupid the them out.   

       Anyway, [Dog Ed]. //On day two we include thousands of small flat stones inscribed with verses from the Koran about not killing people// I'm sure the happy chappies who rammed those aircraft into the WTC didn't really consider their targets 'people'. Remember the targets of this campaign are fed all sorts of propaganda about how the West kills innocent Palestinians et cetera. I fear this would galvanise their beliefs.
sdm, Sep 19 2001

       People were fleeing World Trade Center too.

At least U.S. gives Citizens of the World a running start.

I'll get on the horn with what imams I can - see what happens.
thumbwax, Sep 19 2001

       DogEd: In someways the terrorists probably wanted a big over-reaction to "justify" their actions and to allow the west to be further demonised.
Aristotle, Sep 19 2001

       //Gordian knot// Wasn't the legendary solution unexpected use of force? A sword, right? But how could any kind of force be unexpected in this scenario? Actually, this idea would represent that, but it's basically terrorism itself. I advocate Backwards War Theory.
jabbers, Sep 19 2001

       When Japan attacked Pearl Harbor - should U.S. have sent apple pies to Emperor Hirohito? A couple of Honus Wagner baseball cards?

So instead, U.S. should just attack someone - let's say its not Afghanistan - out of the blue? No warning of any description? Just run into a few buildings in some foreign country in high hopes of killing 5,000 people with some hijacked planes?
In what way is an announced mobilization (this also allows innocents time to flee) of Armed Forces with constant News Updates from U.S. soil along with Cameramen (Should those same Cameramen have brought exploding Cameras?) and Journalists already in Afghanistan the same as what happened September 11, 2001?

You are making comparisons which are best left to Apples and Oranges, my friend.

I have been a busy boy, trying to the best of my little Non-Muslim selfs ability to contact imams and embassies in an absolutely respectful and thorough manner to find that loophole which Taliban and ObL jump through and seal it so people of Afghanistan do not suffer any more than they have since Taliban made it even harder for them to have a sustainable life.

This isn't the First Holy War of such proportions - though the proportions have indeed changed, hopefully it is the last - yet that is doubtful. Perhaps God/Allah is culling the herd.
thumbwax, Sep 19 2001


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle