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Ku Klux KlansMan

White as a sheet ...
  (+4, -15)(+4, -15)
(+4, -15)
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As far as the World is concerned, he's a mild-mannered Harvard-educated bespectacled Civil Rights lawyer, a Democrat, a member of the ACLU, a loving husband and father (but he has many Gay and Lesbian friends), a champion of Environmentalism, and an all-round wuss.

But, for the observant, there are clues, albeit small ones; he tends to wear high collared shirts, to hide his red neck; while he is normally seen driving a Toyota Prius, he also has a battered Ford pickup hidden in a barn deep in the woods - where he also keeps his vast collection of weapons and explosives, his NRA membership card, and his sisal-wrapped steel cross. There's just a hint, no more, of a Southern drawl in is clipped New England tones, and occasionally he forgets himself enough to partake of hominy grits, although most people just put this down to being polite.

But he is a man with a mission, ready to leap into action whenever pointless prejudice, xenophobia and small-minded bigotry are threatened. Should he hear the call of the General Lee's horn sounding "I wish I was in Dixie", quick as a flash he dives into a dimly lit Bar with the Stars And Bars up on the wall and emerges again clad in his dazzling white bedsheet and pointy hood, ready to battle against the evil forces of equality and liberalism. Driving his beaten up pickup, with his Remington pump-action 12-gauge in one hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels in the other, he rushes to the aid of any citizen in need, as long as they're white, US citizens, a Republican voter, a gun owner, have half a dozen huge slavering dogs, are heavily armed and equally heavily intoxicated.

If you've been foolish enough to venture North of the Manson-Nixon line, and found it all a bit too much, what with the electric light and the big-metal-bird-go up-in sky and all, don't hesitate - call for Ku Klux KlansMan !

8th of 7, Jun 30 2010

An alcoholic oxymoron http://www.ilmot.co.uk/ClanDew.jpg
the perfect drink for every kkk member [xenzag, Jun 30 2010]

"Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" http://en.wikipedia...ur_Last_Battlefield
" .... find the planet's population completely wiped out by a global war fueled by insane racial hatred..." [8th of 7, Aug 14 2010]

[link]






       [marked-for-deletion] thinly veiled stereotyping   

       contains a load of sheet.
dentworth, Jul 02 2010
  

       Funny, but you're describing a villain, not a hero.
DrWorm, Jul 02 2010
  

       None taken--and [+] for humor's sake.
DrWorm, Jul 02 2010
  

       I'd + "Redneckman" as a foil for over-the-line PC'ism, but you've included too many positive/neutral qualities under the moniker KKK, which is an active racist organization.   

       As a redneck wannabe, I find myself insulted.   

       rich men/gold watch etc.   

       [-] and   

       [marked-for-deletion] racism.
FlyingToaster, Jul 02 2010
  

       //pro-white doesn't necessarily mean anit-minority//
way too much to parse there, but "white" is a skin colour, not a culture. Most of the racism in the world today (and in the past) is/was of people who arguably looked the same as each other.
FlyingToaster, Jul 02 2010
  

       From their press the only original thing they bring to the table is hatred of other cultures. Not worth bothering with.   

       From the post:
"battered Ford pickup"
"barn in the woods"
"collection of weapons and explosives"
"hominy grits"
"I wish I was in Dixie"
"Stars and Bars"
"Remington Pump Action"
"Jack Daniels"
  

       none of the above are original to or unique of white supremacist groups.
FlyingToaster, Jul 02 2010
  

       Canadian Supremacy, on the other hand, is a well documented fact.
FlyingToaster, Jul 02 2010
  

       [-]
Grogster, Jul 02 2010
  

       // thinly veiled stereotyping // // racism //   

       ... ironical humor ?   

       // that depends on your perspective //   

       Spot on, [21Q]   

         

       // Canadian Supremacy //   

       "We've got a lot of trees ... and trees ... and ... er..."
8th of 7, Jul 02 2010
  

       Uranium, fresh water, potash, pot, gold, diamonds, iron, natural gas, petroleum, land mass, arable land, temperate climate, political and economic stability, manageable population, copper, nickel, allies, social infrastructure... everything.
rcarty, Jul 02 2010
  

       Oh come on, there's no possible way that could happen.   

       They don't have any buses ...
8th of 7, Jul 02 2010
  

       Yeah we have that guy too, so don't mess with us.
rcarty, Jul 02 2010
  

       White is not a skin color and neither is black.   

       God damn it.   

       I do not find this at all funny.   

       Laugh it up fuzzball, this scruffy nerfherder has stood on the other side of the SWAT team and the firehoses trying to make it known that I don't think it was cool for the camelia knights (pretty much kkk) to hold a national meeting 1O mi's from my house.   

       They are not a joke. Where I live, anyway.   

       Bone, bone, bone, bone, bone.
Zimmy, Jul 03 2010
  

       The character never does anything wrong. He helps citizens in need as long as they're of the type of what he said.   

       It's ok for heroes to help out only certain types of people (steal from the rich and give to the poor (not that the what he said type people are poor, they're good people, too (not that poor people aren't good people))).   

       The title should be something like The Redneck Rodeo Dreamsicle Beastman Cometh or something, though. [-]
daseva, Jul 03 2010
  

       Is this an idea, or did you just feel the need to stereotype Southerners as backward, drunken, gun-toting, pickup truck-driving right wingers?   

       When you start making jokes about a lack of electricity and unfamiliarity with airplanes, it's really just a form of hateful ranting.   

       Small-minded bigotry indeed.
nomocrow, Jul 03 2010
  

       Yeah, some of my best friends are southerners!   

       Also, I like my guns, and my grits, and there never was any mason-dixon line this far west of the missisippi.
ye_river_xiv, Jul 05 2010
  

       A couple of things puzzle me about this idea.   

       1. Our Borg friend isn't even a Yankee... so, it's a bit like, say, a Canadian weighing into the traditional feud between Portsmouth and Southampton. It's not so much "How dare you?" as "Huh?"   

       2. Our Borg friend himself is not entirely averse to guns, whisky or (verbal) lefty-bashing. So... "Huh?" again.   

       Are you feeling all right, [8th], if that's not a silly question?
pertinax, Jul 05 2010
  

       din't know Portsmouth and Southampton Ontario had a traditional feud goin'...
FlyingToaster, Jul 05 2010
  
      
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