Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Latte keyhole rotor

Don't disturb the patterns on top of the froth
  (+19, -1)(+19, -1)
(+19, -1)
  [vote for,

I suspect that many here would consider the addition of sugar to coffee to be an abomination akin to adding ice to whisky. Sadly, though, i do the former, though i would never have dreamt of doing the latter.
Should one commit such a sin with cappucino or latte, however, one is confronted with a moral dilemma. One's barista may have expended considerable effort perfecting that frothy reproduction of the Mandelbrot Set or the Blessed Virgin Mary atop one's cup, which one then proceeds to destroy by dumping demarara through it and stirring thoroughly, and one may even be doing it right in front of the hapless coffee artist. This is a dreadful slight to their craft.
Therefore, i propose a new means of sugaring and stirring coffee. A straw is inserted in one corner, left thoughtfully clear of creativity by the spumaceous artesan, down which the sugar is shot. An umbrella-like rotor is then shoved through the straw, unfurling at the coffee bed. It can then be whizzed round by a crank at the top, connected to a system of gears.
The result is coffee the way one likes it free of insult to its creator.
nineteenthly, Apr 23 2009

Nitinol http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitinol
Could be used to make a stirrer [Srimech, Apr 28 2009]


       I'd give you 2 buns if I could: one for the tidy idea and one to go with a nice malt.
Jinbish, Apr 23 2009

       Injection needle + sugary solution?
loonquawl, Apr 23 2009

       Dip the base of the cup in liquid nitrogen to freeze the bottom 2mm of Latte. Before the residual coffee heat melts this, unfold the seal at the bottom of the cup, remove the base, introduce a small amount of sugar and refold the bottom of the cup, sealing with any proprietary waterproof mastic compound. Convection currents in the coffee will distribute the sugar.
hippo, Apr 23 2009

       This used to trouble me too, to the extent that I would ask for my sugar to be stirred into the espresso before the milk or froth, but one's coffee never has the right amount of sugar unless you've put it in yourself.   

       [+] for a solution to a much underestimated problem, however, instead of a straw, what about a straw-shaped sugar cube? Sugar straw?
shudderprose, Apr 23 2009

       hmm... if there was some way to magnetize a sugar capsule you could use one of those lab-stirrers.... meanwhile [+]
FlyingToaster, Apr 23 2009

       [Shudderprose], i think the wizziness is important. A sugar straw might dissolve to some extent, but agitation would speed it up rather. [21 Quest], maybe the "e" makes a difference. I seriously miss uisge beatha. For me, that's the worst thing about being teetotal.
[FT], that's really interesting, because molasses starts off high in iron due to the vat it's made in and i think it might really be doable. If it was done that way, an induction loop inside the mug would be nice.
nineteenthly, Apr 23 2009

       No no no. One of the best tests of a proper crema on an espresso is how many teaspoons of sugar it will support.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 23 2009

       I say just toss it in the air madly and then let the crystals fall where they will. Ever so delicately and divinely like wee tiny snow flakes landing on pine trees in winter.   

       Eventually you will have sweet latte. Or not.
blissmiss, Apr 23 2009

       Or maybe have the rim of the cup pressed in damp sugar at the outset.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 24 2009

       There needs to be a coffee house started by Tibetan monks.
RayfordSteele, Apr 25 2009

       simply amazing.
fishboner, Apr 27 2009

       Have you seen the little AA battery powered milk frothers? They have a thin shaft and a round whisklike head which spins very fast when turned on, apparently doing a good job of frothing mik.   

       Well I say make it very similar, but instead of the whisk head, just make the last ~10mm of the shaft with a tiny, loose hinge. When inserting the device, the hinge will be straight and the cross section will be maybe 1mm shaft, causing little froth disruption. But when you turn it on, centripetal forces will cause the little doohicky on the end to flick outwards, creating maximum mixeration. We may have a shaft balancing issue, in which case have two doohickies, that unfurl outwards at high speeds, in opposite directions.   

       Lastly, I thought I'd read about something like this somewhere, used for poking through a tiny hole in an egg and mincing it up (kind of an easy way to "blow" and egg).
Custardguts, Apr 27 2009

       That sounds like it would do really well.
nineteenthly, Apr 28 2009

       Sounds like a job for Nitinol (linked) or another shape memory alloy - make a tiny whisk from nitinol, pull it out into a straight wire, then dip it into your latte and it should reform the whisk shape under the surface if your coffee is hot enough. You couldn't get it out again, so maybe you could just hook it over the edge of the cup and leave it there while you drink it.
Srimech, Apr 28 2009

       Not a criticism, [Srimech], but to me that seems rather over-engineered. That may not be bad, but it can be achieved more simply with a straw and a cocktail-umbrella type arrangement, i would think. I'm now torn between the pose value of memory metal and the camp value of a cup of coffee with a cocktail parasol in it.
nineteenthly, Apr 28 2009

       I like milk and sugar in my coffee when I'm blue.   

       And hot whole milk and coffee when I get a few moments to drink it with my wife.   

       I like coffee black when I'm alone.   

       Never flavored coffee, though. People who drink flavored coffee have something wrong with them.   

nomocrow, Apr 28 2009

       The stuff with the likes of hazelnut in it, or almond, which suggests a solution for you, [nomocrow].
nineteenthly, Apr 28 2009

       Or bacon.   

       This invention removes the incentive to learn the proper method of stirring sugar in a well-frothed capuccino, vis:   

       Slide the teaspoon carefully in at the very edge of the cup, until it reaches the bottom. Then stir in such a manner that the point of the handle at the surface of the froth becomes the pivot point, remaining still while the bowl of the spoon turns in contra-rotation to the rear of the handle as driven by your hand.
BunsenHoneydew, May 08 2009

       If the HB picnic happens, we may be able to experiment with these methods. I was thinking teaspoon handle rubbed between the hands.
nineteenthly, May 08 2009

       By the way, i'm serious about the picnic idea and i really want to make it happen. It'll be safely out in the open and all that lot, no-one needs to worry about anything, and i'm also serious about the food. I also seriously think we should avail ourselves of the cafe and try out some ideas on some actual latte.
Anyone who wants to come, please do email me from the address on my user page or by whatever channels you want, e.g. Facebook, Multiply or Twitter.
nineteenthly, May 09 2009


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