Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Life-saving sharks

Shark patrols pushing light GPS boats
  [vote for,

Sharks would be fitted with a mouth guard attached to a very light dinghy which has a GPS signal. When someone in trouble climbs into the dinghy, they can alert authorities and release the shark from its apparatus at the same time.

The apparatus would have to be constructed so as not to affect the sharks' navigation system if possible. The GPS has the added benefit of finding the shark at the end of the day to feed it.

This idea came to me as if in a bad dream, but in checking, a similarly half-baked concept was once suggested in the annos of the link below.

4and20, Aug 20 2012

Swimming pool shark lifeguard Rescue-o-matic
chlorine activated [4and20, Aug 20 2012]

Well, this anno is even closer Lifeguard_20trebuchet
They're circling [4and20, Aug 20 2012]

Wave Glider ocean robots http://www.gizmag.c...rks-stanford/23758/
Also, one of these might come along [4and20, Aug 21 2012]

sharktopus trailer http://www.youtube....watch?v=U87zVkIXNI0
[not_morrison_rm, May 16 2013]


       "Hmm, I need saving...I'll cut my finger and wait..."
normzone, Aug 20 2012

       You would have to modify a lot of sharks for the chances of finding a dinghy-equipped shark to be good. What if I start trying to attract sharks and one without a dinghy arrives? My situation would go from very bad to much, much worse.
DIYMatt, Aug 21 2012

       Perhaps they could have little flasks of rum around their necks, like Saint Bernards...
Grogster, Aug 21 2012

       >little flasks of rum around their necks, like Saint Bernards..   

       You're either trying to cull the alcoholics, or one leaky flask and you've gotten not only a shark., but a drunk shark to contend with..   

       But, I can see that making great reality tv, one Glaswegian drunk and a shark fighting it our over the flask....my money wouldn't be on the finned one..
not_morrison_rm, Aug 23 2012

       Hey, that's MY anno referenced in the link...   

       " Oh, definitely a series of bouys with an ever-fluctuating set of flexible steel cables would not scare off potential lifeguards as much as the projectile approach.   

       Let's take it further. Equip great white sharks with "no-bite" devices, and periodically shoot large quantities of chum from a cannon into the offshore swim zone.   

       When a struggling swimmer waves for help (this is why you don't wave at people while you're in the water) the guard simply fires a cannon of chum, the shark shows up and attempts to eat the swimmer.   

       The breakaway Swimmer-Saver part of the no-bite device inflates and saves the swimmer that the shark attempted to feed on, and the lifeguard fires the following side of beef as a reward.   

       Okay, maybe I need a vacation. At the beach. — normzone, Jan 27 2011 "   

       Oh, and I took that vacation.
normzone, May 14 2013

       Just found out that Roger Corman isn't dead - as I seemed to have assumed - and found his magnum 'opeless "Sharktopus" 2010 which looks to be even worse than you might imagine. c link if you really must.
not_morrison_rm, May 16 2013


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