Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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human buoys

use those people with neon hair colours
  (+8, -2)
(+8, -2)
  [vote for,

So, you have probably all seen or know someone that has safety orange hair, or neon green or the rainbow of all colours. Sometime these folks have a hard time getting jobs because of the way they look. I have the perfect solution. Open up a job market for human buoys. Whilst the lifeguard just sits in his chair ashore, these people will be sitting in well constructed chairs on the floating device. Their hair color will serve as which way the channel markers go or other things like submerged objects or natural problems that may get in the way. The added benefit of having these people instead of inanimate buoys, is that in the event that the boater is not paying attention, these people can wave their arms, shout out anything, blow whistle’s or do anything to attract the attention of the boater who is not paying attention. This can save lives and or boat wrecks.

Now these people that die their hair a multitude of colours can have a new job market open to them!

xandram, Jun 30 2021

just in case https://www.google....=1261&bih=840&dpr=2
[xandram, Jun 30 2021]


       "We're non-conformists! We've all non-conformed the same way, so we... all... look the same as each other..."
neutrinos_shadow, Jun 30 2021

       Excellent - flawlessly halfbaked {+}
xenzag, Jun 30 2021

       Attention Buoys and Gulls.
AusCan531, Jul 01 2021

       haha thanks.I failed to mention that the floating device is obviously anchored in the same way that a normal buoy is anchored. as we don’t want these orange haired People just floating aimlessly around the ocean!
xandram, Jul 01 2021

       So basically you are proposing rounding up people with bad style and bad taste, attaching huge concrete blocks to them with chains, and then putting them in the sea.
pocmloc, Jul 01 2021

       no intolerance from me! that comment is absurd [hippo] After all this is the halfbakery. Please explain where the intolerance is located!
xandram, Jul 01 2021

       //intolerance of harmless differences// Does that mean if the "differences" were actually harmful, they would be tolerated?
xenzag, Jul 01 2021

       maybe [hippo] has misread his own ideas into this idea. I actually love those hair colors and would never have the nerve to dye my hair Like that myself. I agree that may be other people have intolerance to them and that’s why they have a difficult time getting jobs. Do you have a coloured hair across your ass?
xandram, Jul 01 2021

       Well I considered //intolerance of harmless differences//a personal insult. I have no intolerance whatsoever and I did not think this idea was funny. I thought it was a half-baked invention. you did not point out where the intolerance was or is! I did not suggest putting them out like in animate objects because I said They were better than inanimate objects.   

       it amazes me how people can just change things so they see them the way they want. I know what the halfbakery is about and I have been here for 16 years and I don’t need another insult. thanks
xandram, Jul 01 2021

       I totally approve of the idea. It’s one I could well see this being acted out as a type of collective performance piece in calm waters by my art students who would absolutely love it.
xenzag, Jul 01 2021

       Some of us are just jealous of people with enough hair to dye!
pocmloc, Jul 01 2021

       The borg would've gotten away with this idea, I suspect.
RayfordSteele, Jul 01 2021

       A huge thank you to [a1] and all the others. I was absolutely in shock when I read hippo’s anno, and extremely hurt to say the least. I have been MFD for cruelty and other crazy ideas and would not repeat those ones I have learned. Unfortunately I thought this was the best idea I have had in a while !   

       It kind of sucks to have to explain yourself because then it sounds like criminal defense. I just I’m not a person that wouldn’t tolerate hair colours! I mostly don’t tolerate lying or hypocrisy. Thanks my friends for making me feel better. That’s usually what I come here for.
xandram, Jul 01 2021

       I also call for any objectors to this idea to have their heads boiled along with a turnip, and when the water is drained, the two sets of features on the head and the turnip will have been transposed.
xenzag, Jul 01 2021

       Sorry if I caused any offence [xandram] - honestly, none was intended
hippo, Jul 01 2021

       Ha - you're no fun. Come out and fight a duel to the death with treacle coated cudgels in a field full of baying sheep.
xenzag, Jul 01 2021

       Well it’s a new day. Let it be peaceful!
xandram, Jul 02 2021

       I had my deckchair and picnic ready to go.
xenzag, Jul 02 2021

       [xen] you are too cute! I prefer not to fight over something I don’t have a fight over! I don’t mind Fishbones, if they were given for a proper reason. Thanks for your lightheartedness. Hugs
xandram, Jul 02 2021

       [Rayford] there is no getting away with the idea because the idea was perfectly fine. The Borg would have gotten away with numerous insults. Not quite fair when a moderator calls out an indiscretion which wasn’t true.
xandram, Jul 02 2021

       Why the need for water? Crowd buoys. Find your way through large events fast, with the correct leaning on port.
wjt, Jul 02 2021

       And now I'm thinking, if there are buoys there should also be guorls.
xenzag, Jul 02 2021

       [wjt] /crowd buoys/ is a great idea. You should bake it.
xandram, Jul 04 2021

       Smile and wave buoys, smile and wave.   

       First of all, I wish I could upvote [2Fries] anno ^   

       Secondly, "Some of us are just jealous of people with enough hair to dye!" My hair just died. :(
AusCan531, Jul 05 2021

       Non-black hair colour doesn't show up very well against the background of the sea. Black is easier to pick out I find.

//I agree that may be other people have intolerance to them//

After more than 50 years of not really being fussed about my hair, I got bored during lockdown & decided to dye my hair bright blue. Much to my amazement I have been receiving regular hair compliments from random strangers for the last 6 months now, having received zero such comments in the previous half century. Which is both pretty cool & good for the ego!

I haven't had any abuse or snarky comments except from my grand-niece, who said I looked like a grandmother. Which was totally crushing!

So, to anyone having trouble with different-ists I say, come & live in Brighton. It's all different here! :)
DrBob, Jul 05 2021

       [DrBob] want photos!
xandram, Jul 05 2021

FlyingToaster, Jul 05 2021

       ^ Third-ed.   

       I would think that there could be a map of the bay, with locations of marker buoys, and required colors for each one. Then the job- seekers could select a station and get a dye-job for the particular posting.   

       It may even be that some postings are more desirable than others; that some pay more than others; some require colors that don't go with the job-seeker's eyes / tattoos / skin tone / prosthetic navel or whatever; or maybe they'd be willing to do *that* color for a week, but no longer...   

       I'd do the red/white stripes with LEDs in my hair to get the buoy where I got to blow the foghorn.
lurch, Jul 06 2021

DrBob, Jul 06 2021


       why not the beard ?
FlyingToaster, Jul 06 2021

       wow thanks [DrBob] really cool colour! love magenta. great job   

       need magenta glasses to go with
xandram, Jul 06 2021

       Art, FlyingToaster. The contrast is the thing, you see.
DrBob, Jul 06 2021

       Somehow this slipped by me. I would have come and supported my friend and soul sister [xandram], who doesn't possess an intolerant bone in her body. She is my sister in love and peace.   

       The thought that Dr.Bob, of all people here on the bakery, has purplish hair, is what is the most dramatic part of this. I have always thought he was kind of conservative. (The comb-over is nice as well.)
blissmiss, Aug 02 2021

       I would consider having purple hair fairly conservative
pocmloc, Aug 02 2021

       Yeah, by Brighton standards that's a pretty mainstream look, isn't it?
pertinax, Aug 02 2021

       That's very true. But small steps to start with!

//kind of conservative//

More of a sceptic, but conservative is a fair description, I guess. I am very suspicious of trendiness & populism but open to genuine innovation & change.
DrBob, Aug 19 2021

       [bliss] awwwwe. I’m so glad I bothered to look at this to receive your most beautiful and warm comment. I am honored to be your sister in love and peace! Sending hugs and kisses!
xandram, Aug 19 2021

Voice, Aug 19 2021

       I can easily forsee a future where hair color has become a part of fashion. All it would take is a series of chemicals that can be placed in standard shampoo and be used as easily as taking a shower. In such a world "corporate black" or somesuch may come to be as expected as wearing a tie. I mean there's no point in wearing a tie either, and a tie is actually more difficult than choosing a shampoo containing hair die.
Voice, Aug 19 2021

       //shampoo containing hair die// Monsanto enters the cosmetics market?
pocmloc, Aug 20 2021

       Very pleased that DrBob's hair is as colourful as the sock that made it onto the half-baked calendar <whisper>two decades ago</whisper>.
calum, Aug 20 2021

       I haven't changed out of those socks yet.
DrBob, Aug 20 2021


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