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"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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For people like me who have problems writing clever and
humorous limericks, I have produced a universal outline to help
Heres the outline. All you have to do is fill-in the blanks.
Remember to be creative.
There once was a ___________ from_________,
much as ____ __________, on one _________ and
____________ ____________ ____________ __________ .
||Apologies if [el dueno] is not pronounced el Dew (ay) no
||There once halfbaked [el dueno].
[a1] thought that that post's not quite bueno.
He posted el linko,
to prove non distincto...
Thus original goes down the drain-o.
||There once was a FORK-LIFT TRUCK DRIVER from ROTHERHAM, Who DROVE a FORK-LIFT TRUCK and A FORD CAPRI, As much as HE ENJOYED HIS JOB, on one THURSDAY AFTERNOON HE RESIGNED and LUCKILY, MANAGED TO PICK UP A JOB AS A MACHINE OPERATOR THE FOLLOWING MONDAY .
||I think there shouldn't be a space before the final full stop. Apart from that, this seems an excellent template.
||There once was a word spelled "occation" but
nobody knew what it meant so that's as far as it
went. Not a halfbaked idea. Read help file.
||There once was a QUANTITY SURVEYOR from STOKE POGES,
Who MURDERED a WOMAN and FLED,
As much as HE TRIED,
on one NIGHT HE WAS SPIED and NOW HE'S
DOING AN INDETERMINATE SENTENCE IN BELMARSH.
||There once was a TILLER GIRL from STOKE POGES,
Who EMBROIDERED a HANKIE and THEN ATE IT,
As much as SIXTY THOUSAND POUNDS OF PUBLIC FUNDS WAS
on one HOSPITAL SHIFT TO TRY TO REMOVE IT FROM HER
DIGESTIVE SYSTEM and FOLLOWING FAILURE TO DO SO
IS PURSUING A CIVIL CLAIM AGAINST THE NHS TRUST WHICH IS
LIKELY TO COST THE PUBLIC PURSE EVEN MORE JUST TO
DEFEND, LET ALONE SETTLE
||There once was a CHILD from STOKE POGES,
Who DID a POO and A WEE IN HIS PANTS,
As much as THE CHILD WOULD HAVE PREFERRED OTHERWISE,
on one TOILET WALL WAS WRITTEN A STATEMENT ADVERTING
TO THIS INCIDENT and NOW HE'S
KNOWN WIDELY AS THE CHILD WHO DID A POO AND A WEE IN
HIS PANTS IN STOKE POGES
||File under: material for [calum]'s biographer perhaps?
||Ah, calum! You are my muse!
There once was a FAT BLOKE from STOKE POGES,
Who SPRANG a LEAK and DIED,
As much as NOBODY CARED,
on one HORSE and CART, BANKSY PRINTED A MEMORIAL TATTOO
and SOLD IT FOR A FORTUNE AS IT COULD BE EASILY TRANSPORTED.
||A most excellent template.
||There once was a PRIME MINISTER from THE UNITED KINGDOM,
Who LIED a LOT and DRANK WINE WITH CHEESE,
As much as A
NEBUCHADNEZZAR AND A WHOLE TRUCKLE OF CHEDDAR ALL
DENIED AND YET,
on one OCCASION
and ANOTHER AND
IT WAS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT IN THE DOWNING STREET LAVVIES
LATER SO IT MUST HAVE HAPPENED.