Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Liquor for the Homeless

A charity that supplies the homeless in New York with wine and beer
  (+8, -10)
(+8, -10)
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Many of today's homeless in New York don't really need money. They just a cold six pack of Budweiser nips or a liter of Mad Dog 20/20 to "take the edge" off.

Many of today's charitable organization's just aren't getting to the roots of these people's needs. They collect food, money, and clothing for the homeless. Guess what!? All that stuff is readily available to the scrutinizing eyes of today's street dwellers. What IS hard to come by is cheap liquor. Liqour store owners hate taking five dollars in change from a homeless, and aren't very helpful to the homeless in finding a good deal on a fine vintage cabernet or chateau de cheateau.

My charity will collect your unwanted bottles of ripple wine.. your unused six packs of Budweieser nips... your boxes of unused California refrigerator wine... and give them to the people who need it most: New York's homeless thirsty population. Don't worry about clothes and cans of food, they will get that with ease, send the booze!!!

vincenzo, Jun 27 2000

(?) Beer for the Homeless http://beerforthehomeless.com/
As of March 2003, some radio people in Chattanooga, Tennessee are trying to bake this. (Not too seriously, I suspect). [krelnik, Oct 04 2004]


       Please be advised, this is just another one of those 'crutch' organizations bent on further encouraging our inner city homeless to maintain their poor, ripple wine swilling ways. We must take our position as a global pioneer very seriously and consider a more humane alternative to cheap beer distribution. Which is why we must create and market a pilot episode of HOMELESS AMERICAN GLADIATORS, where our homeless can use their finely tuned skills to win shelter and fine single-malt scotch the good old fashioned way
ponzio, Jun 27 2000

       Todays thirsty generation of well to do street beggars need more than the ripple of old. I belive the answer does lie in a cheaper alternative, maybe a combination of paper mache paste and elmers wood glue topped off with a little italian dressing for the kick. I belive this could be produced by the homeless, for the homeless, at a relatively modest price. This could also be useful in other facets of the street dwelling life. Instead of the normal spuge that rises out of their bellies, they will be able to use this new compound to attach their brand of card board condos to one another. With a little percerverance, the homeless could fabricate their own general housing, long live the new Donald Trumps on the
spalding, Jun 27 2000

       Also check soon for Potent OTC drugs for the homeless at a charitable organization near you.
vincenzo, Jun 27 2000

       How about a urine container trade in, like needles?
spalding, Jun 27 2000

       Send me your old wine to put on my lawn. The grass will come up half cut and will cut down my time with the lawnmower.
mumblecrumb, Aug 04 2000

       How about some 'Free Hooker Coupons' for the homeless as well? Good for 15 minutes roll in they hay, or until you.... (I'm *not* going to finish that last sentence).   

       Hey- bums must get horny sometimes. This just keeps them from "pinging their own loopback address" and eventually going blind.
BigThor, Sep 01 2000

       Maybe we could collect airplane glue and baggies for the homeless. It's cheap, easy, and sniffing glue is AMERICAN!   

       Giving them booze just makes them urinate more, which can be unsightly, as they tend to do it out in the open. Looking at some homeless guy's shloze isn't something my wife or I want to do when we're dowtown for a fashionable event.
brockbridges2, Feb 14 2003

       People passed out on inhalent benders aren't very sightly either.
snarfyguy, Mar 07 2003

       I don't know how good this idea is but it seems right to me to address the real needs of the homeless.   

       By the way, I am willing to donate cash in exchage for a real unopened bottle of Ripple wine. I want it for a project. Kayland@msn.com
trh, Jul 13 2003

       if anyone knows where to get unopened Ripple, please contact me, thesacredroad@hotmail.com
zzerru, Nov 05 2003

       Should definitely make the liquor goldschlager. It has pretty good alcohol content, tasty warming cinnamon flavor for those cold nights, and little gold floatin in their bellies to make em feel rich.
rascalraidex, Sep 30 2007


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