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This lottery scratcher has a scratcher on the end designed to scratch lotteries. THe scratcher is designed very carefully so that it is better and more satisfying scratchy experience than competitor
Pressure sensor detects characteristic scratchy motion, actuates pre-recorded mocking voice selected
from a library of demotivational phrases
"ha ha another sucker is born every minute"
"hee hee hee the Lottery is a tax on the innumerate"
"hehehe If you gave the money you spent on that worthless ticket to a homeless person you could have done some good in the world instead of wasting it on this"
The device could have a built in data SIM to connect to the server and download location and date specific messages detailing the proportion of local sales to winnings, compared to the salaries of the lottery company board members, etc. etc. etc. and also to offer direct dial to gambling addiction support charities.
[link]
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How do you scratch a whole lottery? Does it contain a clowder of angry cats? |
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HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE. |
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"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—" |
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YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES. |
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"So we can believe the big ones?" |
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YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING. |
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-Terry Pratchett, Hogfather |
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(with that in mind, I see no harm in spending a little bit on the lottery - for practice). |
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I love Pratchett, but I never read that one. That excerpt is absolutely awesome. |
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For reals? It's a Christmas Classic! |
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Obviously the mocking voice will not actually convert the human user to rationality. It merely acts to test their faith and strengthen their stupidity in the face of mathematics |
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