Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Not so much a thought experiment as a single neuron misfire.

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Louis van Gaal nutcracker mallet

crack nuts with nuts
 
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Large golden penis and balls. Balls flattened on the end so that the whole will stand at an angle. Penis used as the stem/handle To be used for those nuts the Luis Suarez nutcracker just can't handle.

Context:

(for making a few lucky changes mid-game Arjen Robben told journalists Louis van Gaal has a golden dick. In dutch that means he is lucky. The german press thought it very strange to say such a thing. So they asked Louis van Gaal about his dick, he said his wife never mentioned it was golden)

zeno, Jun 25 2014

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       I wonder if a lucky Dutch lady also has a golden dick, or if one alters the anatomical phrase according to gender? A golden clitoris? Even if not in common parlance such a phrase might serve to send the German press scampering about.
bungston, Jun 25 2014
  

       Nope, nothing like that for women.
zeno, Jun 25 2014
  
      
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