h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
or get an account
Footballer Luis Suárez likes to bite other players, and I've just watched a replay of him doing it again tonight at a world cup game. This provides the perfect opportunity for him to endorse latest hand operated nut cracker.
Naturally the Luis Suárez Nut Cracker Head takes the from of a scaled down
Luis Suárez head, with a spring loaded articulated jaw. Small nuts are placed between the front teeth, with the tougher ones (like almonds) using the heavier back molars.
Either way, a judicious thump with a fist on the crown of the Luis Suárez Nut Cracker Head causes the upper and lower jaw to clamp together, reducing the shell of the nut to fragments, and releasing the edible interior.
Being made of heavy metal, Luis Suárez Nut Cracker Head doubles up as an effective door stopper when not in use, or as a kettle weight when the optional extra curved handle is attached.
(note - almonds are seeds and not nuts)
Mid Match Snack
[xenzag, Jun 24 2014]
Footballer kitchen tools
[calum, Jun 24 2014]
Head of Luis Suárez
[xenzag, Jun 25 2014]
Luis Suárez in simple Kettle Weight variation mode
in this mode, nuts can also be crushed by simply pounding with the head [xenzag, Jun 25 2014]
Luis Suarez bottle opener
you can get a bottle opener of him, nut cracker is probably a better idea though as he's got one powerful bite! [max99, Jul 04 2014]
||bun, but I imagine the reason you don't see nutcracker heads is that you can't get enough leverage to actualy crack a nut. (and if they do exist then - flavour)
||Well, actually, that makes sense. You can
only properly worry about one bizarre
disturbing halfbaker at a time, and there are
so many of them
||But we all worry about you, ALL THE TIME, [8th]!
||<dons all-black clothing, sits alone in
darkened room mumbling about "The Voices"
Katana by light of single candle>
||Surely nature has provided a suitable layout for the leverage needed?
||Simply place the nut to be cracked between the Suarez nutcracker buttocks and squeeze the legs?
||Coming to a home shopping channel near you....