Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Low-Pressure Call Center

Dispense with atmospheric pressure for free altitude training...
  [vote for,

Working in a call centre is dull. I've done it, the best you can expect is to ask someone called "Dr Livingstone" to call you back, just so you can use the line "ah, Dr Livingstone I presume". No one laughs. So, to compensate the workers I recommend removing some of their air. This would simulate the air pressure experienced at an altitude of say... 4500metres. (new employees can work in the 2000m room....). The advantage being that they'd be altitude trained for life, the company football team would probably do well, the risk of fire would be slightly diminished, heating bills would be lower in winter, and you could attract off-season athletes and climbers, who'd probably work for peanuts, or protein bars or something...
bs0u0155, Dec 02 2011


       // athletes and climbers, who'd probably work for peanuts, or protein bars or something // sad but true :) [+]
fho, Dec 02 2011

       While you're mucking around with the air supply, I think it should have added Helium, for comedy effect.
hippo, Dec 02 2011

       Why stop at call centers? Surely there'd be efficiency gains across the board. You could even use it as a perk or punishment-style thing. You only completed 3 cases, today? Well, your keycard now only lets you into the 4500m room. Your team did exceptionally well this quarter? Say hello to your new window-seat office in the 100m room!
slater, Dec 02 2011

       But would they still use high-pressure sales tactics?
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2011

       I also think that the bane of call centres.... the constant ringing and the sound of all the other "operatives" chatting away, would be somewhat attenuated. I'm not entirely sure, but I think low air pressure would cause sounds to diminish more with distance than in full pressure.
bs0u0155, Dec 02 2011

       Would the absence of leadership constitute a power vacum?
normzone, Dec 02 2011

Press '1' to add more oxygen to the call-centre
Press '2' to reduce oxygen in the call-centre
Press '3' to increase atmospheric pressure in the call-centre
Press '4' to decrease atmospheric pressure in the call-centre
Press '5' to increase temperature in the call centre
Press '6' to decrease temperature in the call centre "

       I like it.
FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2011

       Add some NO2 for guaranteed office laughs. Bun.
not_only_but_also, Dec 03 2011

       I think this merit. I'm considering lowering the pressure in my house, just for the fitness benefits.   

       Oh, wait, I already live in the mountains...
Alterother, Dec 03 2011

       This would also provide an excellent employment opportunity for Sherpas with vertigo.
bs0u0155, Dec 03 2011

       //Add some NO2 for guaranteed office laughs.// Alternatively, if you find dissociative euphoria more amusing than a ghastly death as your lungs fill with blood and acid, consider N2O.
spidermother, Dec 06 2011

       Croissant for the vomiting.
calum, Dec 06 2011

       If the call-centre is sealed it could alternatively be filled with water, and the staff could be given scuba gear.
hippo, Dec 06 2011

       by "sealed" I assume you mean filled with seals?
bs0u0155, Jan 30 2015

       No, he meant applying that Seal guy, the singer. The one who harassed Eleanor Widmer, although the internet has been carefully scrubbed of the tale.   

       She was an eighty-one year old restaurant reviewer when she passed in 2005. A few years prior to that she attended a Seal concert, an avowed fan of his latest album. She got back stage on the strength of her press credentials, and when she arrived Seal roared " YOU HAVE COME TO SPY ON SEAL!" and had security remove her, and his limo driver took her home before the show began.   

       Methinks somebody had access to a little too much coke that night.
normzone, Jan 30 2015


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