Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Get half a life.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                             

Lurvelight

For couples who collect each others' navel fluff and the like
  (+10, -4)
(+10, -4)
  [vote for,
against]

The couple wear two rings of dissimilar metals. On special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries and Stalking Encouragement Day, known to some as Valentine's Day, they each swallow a sponge on the end of a string and leave it in their stomachs for a while to soak up the acid. This is then swathed in a plastic bag via a special jigger thingy operated through the string and removed to avoid ulceration in the upper gastrointestinal tract, then pulled up and out. Wearing protective gloves, they then wring out the acidic stomach juices to mingle them in a small jar, take their rings off, wrap wires round them and immerse them in the fluid, thus creating a battery. The wires are then connected to a heart shaped neon tube, a chip and a little tinny speaker which plays Their Song in an annoying doorbell sort of series of bleeps over and over again. This forms the centrepiece of a quiet, romantic meal together in a darkened room lit only by the light of their digestive juices which they eat to satisfy their hunger and celebrate their love for each other. Aaah!
nineteenthly, Apr 18 2009

tinny? did anyone say tinny? http://www.youtube....ext_from=PL&index=8
[zeno, Apr 19 2009]

[link]






       If it wasn't creepy, it wouldn't be worth doing.
nineteenthly, Apr 18 2009
  

       wouldn't a potato be easier?
WcW, Apr 18 2009
  

       Hahaha.   

       Fess up. You're really Tim Burton aren't you?   

       This could also work with dental inlays of differing metals and a long kiss - the ph of the mouth is enough for electrolytic reactions, as proven by the weird taste biting on aluminium foil with metal inlays. - With a really long kiss, one ring could electroplate the other.
loonquawl, Apr 19 2009
  

       [2_Fries], i do have something in common with Tim Burton. [Loonquawl], yes, but it'd be really slow unless they both had bulimia.
nineteenthly, Apr 19 2009
  

       Dude, how weird could you possibly get? Are you going for some weird award here? Will continue to bun and will let you know when weirdness limit has been reached.
zeno, Apr 19 2009
  

       Nice to be appreciated, [zeno]. I've never seen that sketch before, nice one. I suppose i would have to say "obstetrics" and "knitting needle" in response.
nineteenthly, Apr 19 2009
  

       [nineteenthly] you big ol' romantic! [+]
zen_tom, Apr 20 2009
  

       Really lovely stuff, yes.   

       I'm picturing a couple of bobbysoxers sat at a drugstore booth, each radiating a post-lindyhop glow, chatting brainlessly about rayon and boys when alluvasudden who should prowl in but the slickly bequiffed and sneerily lipped young buck Brock Van Day, just moved into the county with his bad attitude and dreamboat strut, and waitaminutemary, he's looking at *me!* ohmigosh, I don't know *what* to do! Champagne in your knees, the ruddy cheeked glow of two seconds ago washed away beneath a crimson blush of raw hormonal shame, it's all you can do make yourself look up as his shadow falls upon you. And yes, he's looking at you, right down his aquilne nose, sunglasses now stranded high in the mattress of quiff, his queerly cold blue eyes locked on yours he leans his elbow against the booth, black leather creaking gently on maroon leatherette, and says "Say pretty girl, can I buy you a drink?" You just about manage to nod and your friend, displaying not a little jealousy in her otherwise good grace departurre, scrams. And then it's bosh! out with the gloves and sponge and down the hatch, past the gag reflex, into the bile, your cremola foam float glowing unnoticed in its neon sundae dish.
calum, Apr 20 2009
  

       Thanks, [calum], i'm really touched by your fairytale vision of loveliness.
nineteenthly, Apr 20 2009
  

       <Considers retraining as a psychotherapist - this proves how much money there is in it> Utterly surreal, n'thly - have this rather acidic croissant of appreciation of having brightened my day.
MadnessInMyMethod, Apr 22 2009
  

       I just hurt myself laughing.
stilgar, Apr 25 2009
  

       Well, [calum]'s anno is at least as good as my idea.
nineteenthly, Apr 25 2009
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle