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Machinable Cheese

For easier cheese-based fabrication
  (+16, -1)(+16, -1)
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A fairly hard cheese, similar to classic Cheddar in appearance, flavour and texture, but modified during the production process permitting it to be worked (at low speeds and feed rates) on manual and CNC lathes, drills and milling machines.

Similar to Acetal or Perspex.

Useful for prototyping, cheap, and it's possible to eat both the swarf and the finished part (if unsatisfactory).

8th of 7, Jul 16 2012

Halfbakery: Cheese Annealer Cheese Annealer
//workable cheese welding techniques takes this idea into realms of achievement as yet merely dreampt of// Further notions around the welding of cheese. Such cheesallurgical techniques might allow for a high-carbon cheese wedge to be placed between two denser blocks of cheese in order to better take and hold an edge. [zen_tom, Jul 17 2012]

Commercial comestible http://www.google.c...v=onepage&q&f=false
[Phrontistery, Jul 19 2012]

The Spanish Inquisition http://people.csail...spanish/script.html
You didn't expect this, did you? [8th of 7, Jul 19 2012]

[link]






       You'll need to employ watch-cats in the workroom to keep mice away from your prototypes.
swimswim, Jul 16 2012
  

       Parmesan should fit the bill here.
zen_tom, Jul 16 2012
  

       I have a brand new kitty, Frisco, who would be perfect for the job of mouse tamer. But his mother, me, would probably eat all the profits.
blissmiss, Jul 16 2012
  

       "I know that the styling department wanted to show off, but their lightweighting efforts in prototyping have gone too far this time in demanding Swiss. The stress concentration risers are simply more than my bridge design can stand."
RayfordSteele, Jul 16 2012
  

       Parmigiano-Reggio or Frico Goat Cheese. NEXT!
UnaBubba, Jul 16 2012
  

       Probably your best bet would be a young cheddar, kept very chilled. Most hard cheeses are to crumbly.
MechE, Jul 16 2012
  

       Velveeta?
RayfordSteele, Jul 16 2012
  

       Mature Gouda has many of the right properties.
8th of 7, Jul 16 2012
  

       <glances offscreen at Jabba the Cat> well... if the requirement is that _mice_ not eat the cheese...   

       [+]
FlyingToaster, Jul 16 2012
  

       Wait, did [blissy] just suggest that she dines upon mice?
Alterother, Jul 16 2012
  

       She's from the West Coast, don't worry about it. Just another diet fad ... probably the Roman "Dormice cooked in Honey" diet.
8th of 7, Jul 16 2012
  

       This is an outstanding idea, and frankly I am shocked that you didn't have it sooner.   

       Could I recommend Mahon cheese? It can be bought in various grades, having a range of Young's moduli. New Mahon is roughly equivalent to the harder silicone sealants; the more mature stuff is dense and hard, and roughly equivalent to polypropylene. Further aging produces something which is remarkably similar to Delrin.   

       Mahon cheese also posesses many other useful engineering properties. It is highly isotropic, and also has a very high work of fracture. This latter property may be due to the presence of numerous near-microscopic bubbles within the cheese, which seem to act as crack-stoppers.   

       Recent experiments in the Buchanan household have also shown that Mahon can be hot-formed. A slightly higher temperature (such as a knife held over a candle) can be used to tack- or seam-weld the cheese, for fabrication or repairs.   

       Finally, the maturest of mature cheese takes on a golden translucency. Thus, devices fabricated from Mahon can include indicator LEDs which will glow alluringly through several millimetres of cheesy structure.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 16 2012
  

       The possibility of developing workable cheese welding techniques takes this idea into realms of achievement as yet merely dreampt of.   

       Your next Nobel prize is secure, shirley?   

       // shocked that you didn't have it sooner //   

       But we did … it's just that every prototype so far has mysteriously vanished, by a curious coincidence at lunchtime.
8th of 7, Jul 16 2012
  

       //workable cheese welding techniques takes this idea into realms of achievement as yet merely dreampt of//   

       Ah, now this is that bit of the movie where the Earthlings, struggling with reaction rockets and simple alloys, defeat the hegemonizing swarm with a technology developed by an underachieving academic who "just has an affinity with cheese and lasers".
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 16 2012
  

       Cheese would seem well suited to be adapted to the recent advances in solid "printing" processes which build 3-D objects layer by layer. No "swarf" ... Oh, maybe that's a disadvantage. :(
csea, Jul 16 2012
  

       Cheddar comes in two colors, if you're not snobby about orange dye.
Alterother, Jul 17 2012
  

       I'm always worried that the bright orange shit that Americans call cheese may be carcinogenic and possibly mutagenic.
UnaBubba, Jul 17 2012
  

       no but the aluminum they put in it causes Alzheimer's or something, I forgot what.
FlyingToaster, Jul 17 2012
  

       Strangely enough, elevated aluminium levels in CSF is a symptom of Alzheimer's, rather than a cause.
UnaBubba, Jul 17 2012
  

       Yeah, well, at least we have enough topsoil to grow carcinogens.
RayfordSteele, Jul 17 2012
  

       [Ubie], Orange Cheddar was invented in Jolly Olde England, according to a tour guide in Cheddar Gorge. I can't remember why because, uncharacteristically, I was only half-listening.   

       As for the optimistically labeled 'processed cheese food product', I've always kind of wondered about that myself. Personally, I blame Eisenhower.
Alterother, Jul 17 2012
  

       Don't be harsh on Ike … after all, when in 1944 he was served Brussels Sprouts at lunch in a British Army canteen, he summoned General Spaatz and immediately ordered that hounourable, loyal and capable officer to "Bomb the sprout fields !"   

       He had power, and he used it wisely.
8th of 7, Jul 17 2012
  

       Careful with the flying swarf, or some Gru(yèr)e-some accident might occur
not_morrison_rm, Jul 18 2012
  

       bun for cheese swords
Voice, Jul 18 2012
  

       I've seen soap bullets used against rats. I'm sure cheese bullets would work equally well.
UnaBubba, Jul 18 2012
  

       Yeah, but with soap bullets you get clean rats.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 18 2012
  

       Alterother -- when processed cheese was first invented, the mainstream cheese industry wanted this new and different substance to be called "embalmed cheese."   

       8/7 -- I am forced to ask, from which substance would you prefer to manufacture prototypes and products: real cheese, embalmed cheese, vegan (soy?) cheese, or the stuff from which "pasteurized processed sandwich slices" are sliced?
goldbb, Jul 18 2012
  

       //Careful with the flying swarf, or some Gru(yèr)e-some accident might occur// to Nantais, the machinist.   

       And a crowdie might gather round in the hope of helping to curé Nantais. A banon using roquefort engineerng purposes might then be imposed - a tragedy as the Sussex slipcote would no longer feta on the stinking Bishop, nor on Prince-Jean (who one day will roule over Caerphilly), since it can no longer be accurately cotija size.   

       'Morbier!', the Linconshire Poacher would shout, drowning his sorrows at the Schloss with the Grand Duke of Olde York. An itch develops in his throat: 'A-a--a---ackawi !' he sneezes loudly, and his top button shoots off, hitting the Rubens on the wall. 'That Vasterbottenost my shirt. I adelost it once before, but now it has beGammelost again. What a saga!'   

       [+] for the idea.
TomP, Jul 18 2012
  

       Bun for cheeses words.
UnaBubba, Jul 18 2012
  

       It's a Roumy subject as no Lori know of says Chimay Nokkelost technology, [8/7].   

       You can Goya Annouais Tilsit's done. There Esrom for all Swart of cheese ideas, Edam near admitted.
UnaBubba, Jul 18 2012
  

       [goldbb], the starting point would be real cheese; but it may be necessary to add other ddairy and food products to achieve the required mechanical properties.   

       Definitely not "cheese-flavoured savoury food slice" or whatever tortured phraseology required to comply with the requirements of labelling legislation.   

       The additives would be those foods and beverages that would not raise an eyebrow at a convention of craft cheesemakers; fruit or fruit juice, fortified wines, other dairy products, and probiotic bacterial cultures.
8th of 7, Jul 19 2012
  

       Speaking as an American, and thus one with significant experience in the field of artificial cheeses, I would presume that some particular formulation of cheeselike substance would be a superior milling stock, as it is much closer in chemical composition to many other, presumably more traditionally machinable, petroleum byproducts.   

       Plus, you'll achieve much, much lower vermin problems due to swarf, as I don't think any animals are willing to eat the stuff.
Hive_Mind, Jul 19 2012
  

       brings to mind one of my favorite firsts:   

       #3 son to mother dentworth:"mommy, is that the moon, can we eat it?"   

       Thank you Wallace and Gromit
dentworth, Jul 19 2012
  

       [8th], as you must know, I'm a huge fan of Ike the General, but he was not well-suited to the role of President. His mistaken belief that the best way to fight Communism would be with weapons considerably prolonged the Cold War, and his processed cheese food product initiative was downright atrocitical; arguably the worst Presidential decision until its badousity was eclipsed by virtually every decision made by the Unpresident.
Alterother, Jul 19 2012
  

       // processed cheese food product initiative //   

       He probably thought he was funding Chemical Warfare research. At least, that's how it's turned out …
8th of 7, Jul 19 2012
  

       Apparently, in 1963-64, Charles de Gaulle funded a program to develop cheeses of mass destruction. It is widely believed that, by October '64, he had developed the capability to deploy a fully mature brie de meaux in under 45 minutes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 19 2012
  

       "How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese?" — Charles de Gaulle
Phrontistery, Jul 19 2012
  

       Through fear- fear and surprise. Through fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency … fear, surprise, ruthless efficency and an almost fanatical dedication to the Pope … oh bugger it, we'll go out and form the Common Market ...
8th of 7, Jul 19 2012
  

       I believe there are now more than 400 AOC accredited cheeses in France.
UnaBubba, Jul 19 2012
  

       That's like, what, two cheeses for every frenchman with the slightest trace of moral fibre ?   

       "Go, tell the Spartans …
8th of 7, Jul 19 2012
  

       Yeah, let's stereotype Americans' view of food. That's easy. Stupid, unoriginal, misinformed, and probably some form of compensation, but easy.
nomocrow, Jul 20 2012
  

       It's a view voiced by quite a few Americans, certainly.
8th of 7, Jul 21 2012
  

       Are you kidding? We have great food here! All you have to do is drive past the McDonalds and the Taco Bell until you find a place with a burned-out sign that looks like it's been closed for fifteen years, and you'll find undeniably American food so good it would make a French cuisine critic apply for US citizenship. Not to mention that we're the only country in the Northern Hemisphere that knows how to properly cook a steak.
Alterother, Jul 21 2012
  

       Sweeping generalisation 101.
Phrontistery, Jul 21 2012
  

       Perfect for those wanting to brush up their generalisation skills.
8th of 7, Jul 21 2012
  

       I've always wondered about American food because, having only touristed there (despite being half American), I've never really penetrated to the crispy tasty underbelly that many Americans claim exists. I get the impression that there are three layers of American cuisine. There's the fast food layer, which is actually quite good as fast food goes. Then there's the Big and Shiny layer, which seems to involve supermarkets selling overplumped and immaculate-looking but tasteless ingredients, and pricey restaurants serving dishes which look perfect but actually have no flavour. Then, I presume, there is a rich layer of unpretentious but tasty food - it is this which is often spoken of but not easy to find.   

       In England, it's a bit different. Our fast food is generally lousy, but the middle layer of supermarket food and reasonably priced restaurants is pretty good (though mixed), and there are lots of overpriced restaurants that serve absolutely superb food.   

       In both America and England, I don't think the majority of the population values or understands good food - you have to search it out.   

       The French and Italians seem to have the best food culture, because it's ingrained in the national mentality. So it's very easy to find good produce and to find cheap, mundane restaurants that serve cheap and simple but delicious food.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 21 2012
  

       There's no real reason to have 'American' food or 'French' food; with certain local differences, tasty artisan food is obtainable anywhere in the world. It only seems more expensive when compared to the flabby tasteless generic CHEAPER alternatives people buy when cruising store aisles. Ultimately, you get what you settle for.   

       But I agree with your post on the basis that the French and Italians tend 'not' to settle for the generic.
Phrontistery, Jul 21 2012
  

       Is it possible to make cheese out of wood? Or maybe make wood out of cheese?   

       The latter would be useful and seems like it should be doable to my mind, but then I'm not very smart.
tatterdemalion, Jul 21 2012
  

       I suppose it takes a few hundred years to develop a classy-restaurant style signature dish. The Yanks _really_ do steak on a barbecue, no contest total blue ribbon. Of the indoors food groups both meatloaf and pot roast, available anywhere outside a fast food joint, will put a smile on your face.   

       Or you could head north of the border where, being much more recently either English or French, the Canadians haven't progressed as much in distinctly recognizable cuisine: "Mac'n'Cheese" is widely regarded as the national dish; back-bacon sarnies though world-class are stillsandwiches; apart from those, donuts, poutine and maple syrup pretty well covers it. The fast-food chains are mostly the same as the American ones, the indie burger joints range from total crap to amazingly good with little price differential from the chains. Our donut shops are the best in the world of course. Ethnice restaurants are decent, ranging from Westernized fare to totally authentic that caters to their respective immigrant cultures. Supermarket stuff, mostly bland.
FlyingToaster, Jul 21 2012
  

       South-Western cuisine, the genuine stuff - firehouse, barn-burner chilli, the "Grill-it-all" BBQ with simple side dishes of corn on the cob, beans, tortillas and sourdough bread, provides an amazing combination of exquisite flavour, texture, nutrition and colonic decongestion …
8th of 7, Jul 21 2012
  

       //Or maybe make wood out of cheese?   

       Is the world ready for cheese-jacks? As they chip away at the last strands of the trunk on the majestic Red(cheddar)wood and it comes crashing to the ground...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 21 2012
  

       <Palin>   

       "I never wanted to do this in the first place! I... I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK ! Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!

The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree .....!
  

       </Palin>   

       No, probably not ... it's All Gone Horribly Wrong again ...
8th of 7, Jul 21 2012
  

       The problem with trying to determine what American food is one and the same with trying to determine what America is (as a land, not a political entity; no need to start that here).   

       I was sitting in a pub somewhere in the vicinity of Cambridge (original flavor), enjoying whatever it is the English serve Americans at lunchtime whilst waiting for the rain to resume so I could get back on my motorcycle, when I was approached by a very polite local couple who, having immediately pegged me for an American, asked me what proved to be a difficult question.   

       They were going on a two-week vacation to the United States, they said, and were wondering if I might have any advice on how best to experience the country in that time.   

       My immediate answer was that they should extended their vacation by about six months. Finally, we all decided together that the best thing to do would be to pick one state and visit there (they chose Colorado, for some reason).   

       The US isn't really like a single country, with three or four distinct cultures and one or two trademark cuisines; it's more like fifty different countries under one flag, with about three dozen intermingled cultures and hundreds of subcultures, and at least a hundred different schools of fine cuisine. So asking "what is American food?" is either an exercise in futility or the beginning of a long and gastronomically exciting journey.   

       That's my opinion, anyway.
Alterother, Jul 21 2012
  

       Occasionally I read a post so inspiring and interesting I think it should be included in a textbook for all children to read. Your's, [Alterother], is one of them.
Voice, Jul 21 2012
  

       Ta.
Alterother, Jul 21 2012
  

       // despite being half American //   

       We deduce that it is your upper half, since the only portion we have observed completely ungarmented is your lower half, and that looked, even on close observation, perfectly normal for a specimen of your alleged age and disabilities.
8th of 7, Jul 21 2012
  

       You may have been confused by the fact that I use a stunt double for my lower half.   

       Gentlemen, ladies, hegemonizing swarms, I believe that the technology of machinable cheese has now been advanced to the point where we must make the next logical step, and open the Pandora's Cheeseboard of a new era.   

       Much progress has been made with simple cheeses, and laboratory-grade materials have now been evaluated successfully in compressive, tensile, torsional and elastomeric roles. You will also no doubt have read the recent reports of the successful trials of Goudalite body armour and also of Thermabrie tiles on the Dragon capsule.   

       Yet we must go further. It is known that the French have access to advanced cheese technology, and I need not emphasize the consequences of letting the French get the upper hand.   

       People of the HalfBakery, I put it to you that the time has come to redouble our efforts to develop cheese-based composite materials. I have taken the liberty of putting some of my backroom boys onto this (at my own expense, naturally), and the challenges are formidable but not insuperable.   

       I am happy to report that Crottin fibre composite, using highly modified Rocamadour matrix, has proven to be most promising. Its tensile strength, specific modulus and work of fracture far exceed that of even the latest military cheddars, even though it is in only the earliest stages of development. If my technical sous-chef's calculations are correct, this material may very well turn the space elevator from dream to reality, giving us a stepping stone to the stars.   

       We cheese to go to the moon. We cheese to go to the moon in this decade and do the Cheddar things, not because they are Brie, see, but because they are Sardo, because that goal will serve to Orlanize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to Mascarpostpone, and one which we intend to win.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 21 2012
  

       I am more than happy to turn this over to the community. The initial forays were privately funded only because the British government is rather short of cash these days, and I thought they'd be more likely to fund further research if I could present them with a feta complis.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 21 2012
  

       I wonder at the wisdom of having cats patrolling the terrestrial end of the cheese string space elevator.   

       One the one hand, they will keep the number of mice down, but will have to rigorously trained not to use the cable as a scratching post.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 22 2012
  

       What [Alterother] said very nicely.
nomocrow, Jul 22 2012
  

       Why is cheese so funny?
sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 22 2012
  

       Which one, the bit about American cuisine or the bit about [blissmiss] eating mice?
Alterother, Jul 22 2012
  

       Not relevant but anyone who never has should try Drunken Goat. I did yesterday and am now addicted.   

       You could probably whittle it if you had to.
Phrontistery, Jul 22 2012
  

       I just had to think on it a bit... but I've got it. The trick is melt the cheese, mix in some wood chips and then freeze it. Pecorino pykrete.
tatterdemalion, Jul 22 2012
  

       Presumably it struggles less than a sober goat …   

       You probably don't want to go posting stuff like that on a public forum.   

       We don't know what "whittling it" is slang for, nor do we wish to know.
8th of 7, Jul 22 2012
  

       This is an idea whose time is ripe. Without delay I will exhort Bert, the secretary of the local senior citizen's group, to rally the troops. Come on Bert!
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 22 2012
  

       //Timing// Good one!
sqeaketh the wheel, Jul 22 2012
  

       "I say I say, what's the secret of good comedy?"
"I don't know, what is the secret of g"
"Timing."
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 22 2012
  

       //South-Western cuisine// I had bulgogi on fresh corn tortillas last time I was in Austin. It was one of the best things I've ever had.
nomocrow, Jul 25 2012
  

       Nice town, nice people, miserably hot ...
8th of 7, Jul 25 2012
  

       fancy naming a city after a fairly naff car company...should they have renamed it Leyland anyway?
not_morrison_rm, Jul 26 2012
  
      
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