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Magnetic cats

  [vote for,

After the failure of feeding cats on an iron-rich diet, I came to the conclusion that a snugly fitting kevlar mesh harness with bar magnets attached is the solution.

This has several possible usages, when putting kitty on the doorstep at night you can be sure of his/her safety as the front doorstep has an iron plate on it. For flat dwellers, an iron plate on the front door is fine.

Also you don't need a cat-box to transport your feline to the vets or something, simply wear an iron plate under your trousers and the feline is attached at hip level, at the front is better, as less likely to sit on him/her.

The magnets can also be used for feline entertainment, just train the cat to use the linear accelerator to easily catch speedy mice, or birds on the wing.

I expect attitudes on this idea may be be polarized.

not_morrison_rm, Jul 15 2014

Techno-AssistiCat http://www.theguard...ist-amsterdam-video
Cats with electromagnetic assistance - the sky's not the limit! [lurch, Jul 17 2014]


       I will admit that as someone who is basically disinterested in cats, I find myself attracted to this idea.
Canuck, Jul 15 2014

       The juxtaposition of "magnetic cat" and "linear accelerator" in this idea elevates it to the status of an all-time great. [+]
8th of 7, Jul 15 2014

       [8th] you are forgetting, perhaps, that as particles are accelerated to higher speeds, their lifetime increases, as does their mass. At some point you would have a massive cat which would outlive you.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 15 2014

       //at the front is betterbetter, as less likely to sit on him/her//   

       Made me giggle, so [+]   

       A detachable magnetic live cat sporran then?   

       Shouldn't this be under <Fashion: Codpiece>?
Skewed, Jul 15 2014

       As expected annotator's views are poles apart..   

       //perhaps, that as particles are accelerated to higher speeds   

       Using the linear accelerators above the speed of sound might seem like a good idea at the time, in order for Tiddles to maul some high-flying geese, but may result in having to buy a new cat.   

       The interlock is specifically borg-proofed, having a left-handed thread, gets them every time..
not_morrison_rm, Jul 15 2014

       I'm giving an unsure bun here. As long as the cat is not harmed, I would find it useful for my 22 lb. cat who cannot really fit into a cat-carrier! If I could have the magnetic plate on my car seat, I could take him to the vet more easily.
xandram, Jul 15 2014

       // Using the linear accelerators above the speed of sound might seem like a good idea //   

       It certainly does.   

       To avoid damage to the cat as a result of air turbulence and resistance (which is, of course, futile), we propose mounting the entire accelerator assembly around a very long evacuated barrel, sorry tube.   

       The magnetised cat will be forced, sorry placed, into the breech, sorry access hatch, and the air will then be evacuated. A thin membrane at the muzzle, sorry far end, will prevent air entering but will rupture lethally, sorry harmlessly, when the cat splats into, sorry passes through it.
8th of 7, Jul 15 2014

       As my esteemed colleague [MaxwellBuchanan] pointed out, accelerating a cat sufficiently will just make it massive and longer lived. Is that what you had in mind?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 15 2014

       We are satisfied, having revisited the equations, that accelerating the cat up to a mere 0.1 C will achieve the desired results without incurring the penalty of relativistic effects.   

       A 5kg cat travelling at 3 x 10^7 m/sec and then decelerating instantaneously to rest undergoes an entirely satisfactory state change for the purposes of the experiment.
8th of 7, Jul 15 2014

       Call me pedantic, if you will, but there is a bit of a flaw in the category name, is that us providing entertainment to the cats, or the other way around?
not_morrison_rm, Jul 15 2014

       //a very long evacuated barrel, sorry tube.//   

       Riding the Fe line express. Their time is meow!   

       Are you referring to the "Santa" Fe Line express, which simultaneously is a bad pun, and the earliest recorded mentioning of Santa in the year*....   

       Actually there are some ads around here with Santa now, and it's only just mid-July..bah humbug etc   

       *there is a claws in the contract covering this kind of thing
not_morrison_rm, Jul 16 2014

       On the other hand, Siamagnetic effects would be useful to keep them away, especially in Thailand.
Ling, Jul 16 2014

       My favorite color for cats is magneta.
bungston, Jul 16 2014

       //keep them away, especially in Thailand   

       Oddly enough, never saw any Siamese cats in Thailand....spooky...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 16 2014

       Me neither, perhaps if I had ever been there it would be a different story though.
pocmloc, Jul 16 2014

       The "Siamese" cat was actually developed in Colchester in the 1820's through '50s, primarily by Ernest Brumbage. The first "Siamese" was a mutant or "sport", one of a litter of seven born as a result of a miscagenation between one of his female show-cats and an unknown feral tom. Over the following years, he bred (and inbred) from this sport to produce what he called "the Oriental".   

       Brumbage died a broken man, however, because his "Orientals" were not recognised in his lifetime by the Governing Council of the Cat Fancy, the feline equivalent of the Kennel Club in the UK.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 16 2014

       //Ernest Brumbage   

       sp. Edward Blencowe Gould, the British Consul-General in Bangkok.   

       Spent a year out there working in Smallville Petchaburi province, fine if you don't mind going home no later than 8.30pm, as that's when the packs of semi-feral dogs wake up...
not_morrison_rm, Jul 16 2014

       That's why you don't see too many cats....
Ling, Jul 17 2014

       Yes, and that why your humble narrator spent the 2nd to the 6th Sunday evenings of being there in a hospital being given rabies jabs due to the attentions of the aforementioned semi-feral dogs.   

       But I'm not one gauss about it.
not_morrison_rm, Jul 17 2014

       Ouch! I was luckier when I went running and came across a pack of 20 or so on some waste ground. They surrounded me, and I literally forced myself to keep walking confidently to the other side. More luck than judgement, I'm sure.   

       Must have been my non-magnetic personality.
Ling, Jul 17 2014

       Or your iron will.
normzone, Jul 17 2014


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