Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Maritholympian Race

The event of all events.
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Each competitor in the maritholympic event must complete each and every olympic event, during the timeframe of the olympics. They don't need to do anything more then to attempt an event.

Not attempting an event is a forfeit and the athlete wins no medals and is disqualified.

Attempting an event and forfeiting it counts as 0 points, but the athlete can continue to another event.

This would introduce to everyone the full breadth of the olympic sports of today, and provide a lengthy and entertaining plot to follow during the olympic broadcast.

mylodon, Aug 14 2008

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       Yes, while specialists are truly at the pinnacle of their particular sport - I think the pentathletes and decathletes etc are more in tune with the notion of the original Olympians.
zen_tom, Aug 14 2008
  

       You'd have to convert the Olympics completely because even Santa Claus couldn't compete in every event. There are like 5 going on at any one time. Maybe pick a small group from each genre.
MisterQED, Aug 14 2008
  

       Getting people to do every event in the Olympics would be tricky. However, as a compromise, it would be nice to see the pentacontathalon (50 events) or hectathalon (100 events).
hippo, Aug 14 2008
  

       Russian weight lifting team synchronized swimming would be worth the price of addmission.   

       You could combine all the net 'n goal sports: handball, basketball, water polo, football, etc.   

       I'm really hoping to see a guy run the 100 meters with a 200lb barbell.
Noexit, Aug 14 2008
  

       Yes, there would have to be a complex set of "three from category A, and two from category B, but no more than ten from category C" rules.
normzone, Aug 14 2008
  

       I think [normzone]'s got it - by doing, I guess, a distribution-requirement (anyone remember college?) style of event selection, a competitor could schedule himself or herself into a couple of events from each grouping: beach sports, cycling, track and field, distance running, swimming, fencing (required!), weight lifting, et cetera.
shapu, Aug 14 2008
  

       I don't need to see the same athlete do the 100 meter dash, the 110 meter dash, the 120 meter dash, the 130 meter dash, the 140 meter dash, the 150 meter dash, the 160 meter dash, the 170 meter dash, the 180 meter dash, the 190 meter dash, the 200 meter dash, the 210 meter dash, the 220 meter dash, etc. Just one of each category of event should be enough to win the Maritholymic Event.
phundug, Aug 14 2008
  
      
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