Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Marketing Waffle Iron

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Bert plugged in the waffle iron his mother had given him, curious as to why any waffle iron needs speakers. Almost immediately, the waffle iron began to speak in a cool, American voice with a smooth, non-regional accent, describing to him how the iron heats itself up slowly for maximum heat potential without any risk of long-term infastructural damage.

As Bert poured in the waffle mix that came with the package, he marveled as the waffle iron, now identifing itself as 'Chet,' detailed to him the labors of the dedicated flavour specialists who spent sleepless hours finding the perfect blend of all natural ingredients for this dilectable mix.

After a twenty minute "food preperation period, tested in over fourty labs across the country for maximum effeciency," Bert pried Chet open to find what was essentially a black hunk of smoking carbon in the shape of a waffle.

Sitting down sadly, Bert munched on what Chet described as "a healthy, delicious way to start each and every morning." It tasted like a chimney.

notmarkflynn, Jun 18 2006

No, do it this way Orbital_20toaster
[normzone, Jun 19 2006]


       I think this is less halfbaked invention, more chillingly accurate distopian future.   

       So, a bun for your predictive skills, bone for the inevitable outcome and a charcoal'd waffle for taking the time out to warn us all of the impending horror. [+]
zen_tom, Jun 18 2006

       W'awfully ironic.   

       So, um, what's the idea? Making America a dystopia? Burning the waffles? Hitchhiker's Guide style malfunctioning robotics? Feeding Burt carbon?   

       Btw, burnt toast, and presumably waffles, is highly carcinogenic. You should take pains to scrape or cut off all burnt parts.
DrCurry, Jun 18 2006

       It's where Soylent Green is made.
notmarkflynn, Jun 20 2006

       <nemesis>May you be destroyed in the Marketing Waffle Iron of the future, notmarkflynn (sorry for the brevity, but my view got mucked up and I didn't see lots of ideas, so I'm catching up).</nemesis>
dbmag9, Jul 16 2006


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