Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mission to Mars Feng Shui

"Qi rides the solar wind and scatters, but is retained when encountering gallium-arsenide solar cells."
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While walking through mockup habitats of the ISS at the Kennedy Space Center the last day of our vacation, the one thing that struck me was how incredibly dull and sterile the living environment was. Picture a small RV, done in all white and gray, sans any trimwork as manufactured by a network computer rack supplier crossed with a cheap porta-loo manufacturer and cost-reduced to the smallest tenth of a cent. Not even FEMA trailers had less aesthetic appeal. For the Mission to Mars, clearly men living aboard some comparable environment for months would need some investment in interior decorating to avoid turning into looney-tunes space cadets. Perhaps all HAL needed to keep his head was some better Qi to balance the sha of the main engine's thrusters?

Enter the new art of superlightweight Feng Shui. The ship's directional heading should satisfy the precision requirements of traditional astronomical alignment. Translucent Aerogel, tinted in various hues, cut into a rock garden. Carefully-chosen and cut ship windows paint prismatic colors onto the opposite walls. The solar-cell arrays would be shaped like butterfly wings.

Every few years the Mission Capsules would be reviewed by a cross-functional team of HGTV interior designers and NASA scientists to keep the room themes relevant and stylish.

RayfordSteele, Jul 20 2009


       Think of the rock garden they could make once they get to Mars.
Gamma48, Jul 20 2009

       Qi is quite interesting.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 20 2009

       Not quite sure how you would define things like "north" within the confines of a spaceship... would you just use bow/stern, port/starboard?
smendler, Jul 21 2009

       21Q, is it your personal mandate to piss on every tongue-in-cheek idea posted? Give over already. Exploring quaint multicultural nonsense is one reason I come here.   

       The not-quite-disguised point here is that mental health is going to be a serious concern for NASA on long-term space journeys. In space, no one can hear you go nuts.   

       smendler, I would probably use the gyro gimballs of the ship. It's got a carefully-managed heading that for 99% of the trip will be basically a straight line.
RayfordSteele, Jul 21 2009

       // Not quite sure how you would define things like "north" within the confines of a spaceship... would you just use bow/stern, port/starboard?//

I am of the opinion that any number of Feng Shui experts would bite your hand off for a ridiculous consultancy fee to determine this!
gnomethang, Jul 21 2009

       In keeping with the theme and the actions of certain real world Hong Kong banks...
"Multi-billion dollar Mars base built on location chosen for its perfect Feng Shui alignment, ruined by placement of competing nations base on critical luck line."
RattyBunyip, Jul 21 2009

       Amen, [RayfordSteele] [+]
coprocephalous, Jul 21 2009

       Captain: Port Engine burn, re-orient pattern Alpha...on my mark...5...4...3...
Chief-over-intercom: I canne dae miracles cap'n! Tha' surfa isnae gonnae moove itsen!
Captain: Emergency Removal and Furniture Reemplacement crews to Engineering! This is not a drill!
zen_tom, Jul 21 2009

       We won't see aesthetically pleasing off-Earth accomodations until such time as bureaucrat(s) are included in the crew. While I'm sure everything is roundly loathed by astronauts, it's probably not berserker-inducing and there is precedent in submarine accomodation stylings.   

       Meanwhile why would you say HGTV "designers"? they generally design stuff that might look marginally good for the cameras in the last 2 minutes of a half-hour show, but are impossible to maintain and have zero "feng-shui" elements at all.   

       The only two shows worth watching are the contractor ones, and they generally aren't building anything "stylish".
FlyingToaster, Jul 21 2009

       [21_Q...] is it so bad to want one of those coined-mouthed frogs at the airlock door?
4whom, Jul 21 2009

       Ahh, come on! A coined-mouthed frog! On Mars! At the airlock! You gotta love it...
4whom, Jul 21 2009

       At some point wheels were baked and yet wheelbarrows were not.   

       Coined-mouthed frogs, at an airlock, on Mars, are a horse of this feather.   

       There is the other possiblity of three dimensional Fooing schwey that needs to be accounted for. I'll bet that it is a unique idea. It is said that the latrine should not face a door. But on what plane, in three dimensions?
4whom, Jul 21 2009

       //But on what plane, in three dimensions?//
And during a PTC roll?
//But to post it as an original idea is bullshit//
How so, [21Q] - do you have evidence of prior art?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 21 2009

       It's not your voting standards I dislike, its your tendency to take yourself too seriously and expect others to do the same, and tendency to find reasons to dislike something rather than to find some to like it. It becomes grating after awhile and kills the fun. If several people have a problem with it for several years, then it might be worthwhile to check your common denominator. 3.5 years is long enough to learn that. Slow indeed. I've been here longer than that, pissed a few people off myself in the early years, but grew up and out of it largely. This is the halfbakery, not everything here is practical or workable. You used to be faster with the [m-f-d] than the established precedent needed, and although you've dropped that practice, it still seems something like a hollow victory.   

       In response to your reasons:   

       1. The message it might send to China is for their government to embrace their heritage rather than shun it. NASA is largely an international community, despite its funding, government oversight, and military cross-pollination. And while on one level the idea uses Chinese concepts to illustrate the point, on another level any basic interior design meme will do. Do it in 70's shag, if you wish. (On second thought, no, do it in anything but 70's shag).   

       2. The government is cheap, but they still do have things like the National Endowment for the Arts, supporting work in far less critical areas than aboard multibillion-dollar space equipment placed at the mercy of desperately isolated men. Mental health during extended space travel is a serious study, a serious hurdle, and anything that might contribute to the health and sanity of the astronauts in my estimation would be a good thing.   

       3. Many astronauts have advanced physics degrees and all of them understand the limitations of weight, physical space, and other engineering considerations that spacetravel requires.   

       4. Eventually the point about learning how to live in space is, well, learning how to *live* in space. We're going to need some aesthetic appeal for precisely that reason, and learning how to do that under weight constraints I think is an excellent halfbakery topic to explore.
RayfordSteele, Jul 21 2009

       //I've been here for 3.5 years//

Damn newbie...
hippo, Jul 21 2009

       [21_Q], I think [Ray...] laid it out. Voice your opinion with justifications or GTFO. That would read to all you /b/ tards, as VYOWJ or GTFO! A good standard for the 'bakery....
4whom, Jul 21 2009

       ... or possibly an HB tagline?
Gamma48, Jul 22 2009

       is feng shui commonly used on RV's and ships ?
FlyingToaster, Jul 22 2009

       [21Q] Can you spell "space"?
It doesn't look anything like "water" now, does it?
Now, try saying "spacecraft, spacecraft, spacecraft".
Now say "boat, boat, boat".
See? Wrong number of syllables.
coprocephalous, Jul 22 2009

       Of course its a bunch of bullshit. That's half the point. So are ghosts, baptisms, and Pat Robertson's degree. But that doesn't preclude me from having a bit of fun with them. Besides, it's old bullshit that is not going to go away anytime soon, regardless. It served its purpose to add some focus on interior design in a short phrase, and the first rule of halfbakery humor in idea creation is to carry a meme to it's irrational extreme, which feng shui arguably represents.   

       I have no problem with candor or logic. But yours seems to attract vitriol often and for some reason brings out the worst in me, because more often than not when I read your posts, you're pointing out flaws in the idea, in people's annotations, etc. It's the general 'tude, dude. It's like you want to be an auditor. I prefer to deal with the IRS only once a year.   

       I do recall your early thrashings.
RayfordSteele, Jul 22 2009

       /clearly men living aboard some comparable environment for months would need some investment in interior decorating /   

       I understand don't ask, don't tell, but it would seem fair to ask a prospective astronaut if he would go crazy without a modicum of tasteful interior decor.   

       My thoughts re 21: I think his earnest commentary on ideas like this serves only to make them better. In my opinion, 21 often serves as the "straight man" who with dour pragmatism serves to set off the ludicrous and improbable aspects of comedic halfbaked ideas. I sometimes feel the need to fake being the straight man to help an idea such as this but 21 does it for real. Keep up the good work!
bungston, Jul 22 2009


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