h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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The Mixed Drinkalyzer is a small (possibly key-chain)device that, when dipped into a mixed alcholic beverage, displays the % alcohol content of the drink. Other possible features could include detection of common "date rape" drugs.
Not all gin and tonics are created alike. Some are incredibly potent
due to a careless or generous bartender. Others are weak thanks to a cruel or parsimonious drink-slinger. Knowing how strong each mixed drink is has several benefits:
1. Hand weak drinks to friends while retaining the strong ones
2. Provide instant feedback/oversight to bartenders (great for bartending school?): "Your margarita is running at 25%. That's a little below target."
3. Make "moderation" easier. People who count their drinks can be "blindsided" by excessively strong drinks that understate their consumption.
4. Improve consistency in home bartending. "Honey, I made your drink at 20% just like you like it!"
Eyewear frame model, swizzle stick, and tropical umbrella models will be available for discrete drink testing.
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Annotation:
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Excuse me...did you just dip your key chain in my drink? |
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Even better, make this device so that you can enter your gender, height, weight, and average activity level (because these things all affect alcohol metabolism). When the Drinkalyzer computes the concentration of alcohol in your drink, it can also give you an estimate of how much it would raise your blood alcohol level. Useful for those people who want to stop in and have a drink with friends, but have to leave soon afterwards and drive to another event or appointment- they will know before they drink the drink whether or not they will be able to drive safely (Well, maybe not safely, but at least they'll know whether they are at risk for a DUI). |
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That could be imbedded in eyewear frames, so while you stir your spirits you'd look cool. |
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Maybe it's a Chicago thing, but the bars around here are required to regulate drinks--they've got spouts on liquor bottles that automatically pour out a fixed amount. |
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Sign me up for product testing. Perhaps it could also be expanded to detect date rape drugs. |
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the downside is nobody would ever be happy with their damn drink. yet another reason for bartenders to hate mixed-drink drinkers. have a shot and a beer. |
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would be a nice device for small bar owners to tell when employees have been stealing out of the bottles and filling them back with water though. |
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And really a good quality controll method all the way down the line. Woman tells date: "Hey, this drink's watered down. Thanks for not adding any date rape drug though." Mildly annoyed man brings drink back to bar: "I thought I told you to make this drink extra strong." Bartender tests bottle, it's quite watered down. Gives free round to angry couple. Manager tests several bottles, and blames the distributor. The distributor tests several bottles and finds out the liquor company has been light on the alcohol content. |
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