Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Or any-other-sort-of-snowbound-downhill-descent-bumpers really
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You're flying down the snowy mountain in record time. You're wiggling your little sticks in the air and your limbs are flailing, as you imagine it anyway, in a graceful, flowing, almost poetic style. The Blue Danube plays in your head. You're beating Eddie the Eagle Edwards' time for this slope. You've even managed to avoid that nasty tree that keeps jumping out at you at the last moment.

And then... disaster. An unexpected bump in the course. Your left leg goes out. Your right leg goes in. You're in danger of becoming a fast-moving crumpled heap. You're definitely veering off course and fast.

But just at the last moment, you bounce into the (possibly custard-filled, you tell me) Mogul-Bumper at the edge of the slope. Although slightly painful to your arm, the Bumper stops you going over completely, and definitely stops your legs snapping into bits. You're lucky. You manage to stay upright, with the help of the Bumper, and although you didn't beat your personal best this time, you still glide across the line as the closing Danube bars play and kick up an almighty cloud of snow in the face of the fondue party applauding you at the bottom.

cheesecake, Apr 17 2007


       I'm confused. What exactly is the Mogul-Bumper, anyway? A custard-filled sandbag?
croissantz, Apr 20 2007

       Presumably some softish air-filled tube, as may be found in the gutters at kid-friendly bowling alleys?
calum, Apr 20 2007

       Reading the title, I thought this was going to be a full-contact competitive sport, a cross between downhill and bumper cars. Imagine my surprise to find it to be just another excuse to use custard!
gardnertoo, Apr 21 2007

       Okay, I thought this was going to be something for your car that would push titans of industry out of the way... But I like it! There are many cases each year of broken limbs that could be avoided, and some deaths as well. A Maine state legistlator recently crashed into a tree and died, and she was an experienced skier. Perhaps something like this might have saved her.
hulot, Apr 23 2007

       I wouldn't be playing the game properly if I didn't attempt a custard-related move in my first three goes.
cheesecake, Apr 30 2007

       The high- versus low-impact properties of custard would seem to be exactly opposite of what you'd want here. From the famous 'Custard-Filled Speed Bumps' idea:   

       //Thus, a benign, rather flaccid bump encountered at low speeds becomes an unforgiving, hardened lump when hit at speed.//   

       Better than falling off a cliff admittedly, but a bit more than 'slightly painful'. I'd go with air-filled bumpers if I were you.   

       Also, just wondering, what temperature does custard freeze at?
imaginality, Apr 30 2007


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