Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mood Food

Food that knows what you want
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The community of scientists, bio-engineers and dietary-behaviorial specialists in the service of humanity will certainly want to make your Slab-o'-Nutrition as palatable as possible.

To this end, I propose an extensive, decade-long study analyzing human dietary behavior on a chemical level. Large groups will be offered various snacks at different times, and, just prior to consumption, a blood and saliva workup will be drawn for each test subject, to identify hormonal blood chemistry components unique to each food type being offered.

After each major food group (Cheetos, chocolate treats, flavored sodas, and popcorn) has a particular hormonal profile identified for it, special gel coatings will be designed which dissolve on contact with saliva samples matching the distinct hormonal profiles previously developed.

These gels will be used to create microbead-flavor sacs, and impregnated with flavor types matching the profiles which will access them when exposed to saliva.

Slab-o-nutrition will then be permeated with a perfect mixture of all these microbeads. Upon consumption, only those beads which match the consumer's current hormonal/salival profile will dissolve, resulting in a flavor sensation that the consumer did not even know he/she was in the mood for. And it never tastes the same twice, thus it won't ever get old.

Another dreadful 'inspired by' -- thanks to Slab O' Nutrition for the impetus for the idea

Soterios, May 09 2005

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       You're right, your description of food put me in a mood.
mensmaximus, May 09 2005

       Try it out on the yanks first. They're a tasteless bunch.
mensmaximus, May 10 2005

       My sence of smell works good though and I smell yanks messing with my Canadian Elections and Canadian Democracy these days. You're dealing with Mensmaximus,yankee infil-trators.
mensmaximus, May 10 2005

       If only your sense of spelling were more on the beam, as well. Aside from that, I don't quite get what your trouble is.   

       While I am an American, I don't represent the establishment, for whatever that's worth. Neither does my suggestion.
Soterios, May 10 2005

       Erm... its possible that there is, in fact, no obvious connection. If you look at things sideways for long enough though, there may well be some way in which idea and annotation are connected. If you find it, let me know.
david_scothern, May 10 2005

       Well, I have noticed that they both appear on the same web page.
Soterios, May 10 2005


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