Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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More stealthy Royal Navy ships

  [vote for,

The main problem of battleships is they are very noisy...so ditch the current engines, and use sails.

Now, we get to the cunning bit, to keep a low profile, the sails will be inside the hull.

If the wind is blowing the wrong way, there is a conveyor belt which has a series of electric fans, the fans blow on the sail - creating motion - as the fan goes under the conveyor belt, it furls it's sail to cut down on wind drag.

Yes, you say, but how about steering it?...

(deafening silence)

...as I was saying the ship can be steered by the use of drones and sea anchors. The drone goes where you want the pointy bit of the ship to go towards, drop the sea anchor and just get the crew onto the treadmill to reel it in.

not_morrison_rm, May 16 2019

[pashute] A swim, one of these and a refloat. https://www.aliexpr...31_32808065652.html
Can't be that deep, the lake isn't even on Google. [wjt, May 17 2019, last modified May 18 2019]


       Now, if you had worked for D.M.W.D. in the 1940's, the 6th of June 1944 would have been memorable for ever so many different reasons ...
8th of 7, May 16 2019

       Or, we just tell everyone we have super secret stealth ships that they can't see.   

       Everyone else gets really nervous about what we're doing with these ships they can't see & spend billions trying to develop ways to track & detect them.   


       We spend the money we didn't spend on real stealth ships on a bloody good piss up while we watch all our competitors bankrupt themselves trying to find our non- existent ships?
Skewed, May 16 2019

       [Skewed], there's a seat for you on the Inadvisory Board of MaxCo.'s Armaments and Bakery division. It's only £50k per year, but we thought that was as much as you could afford.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 16 2019

       Take it, [Skewed], it's 10k more than what he offered us. Favouritism, we call it.
8th of 7, May 16 2019

       Many of you are unaware of a yet untold story about the fate of the Bismarck in 1972.   

       My brother and I had received a model battleship with an electric motor that moved the turrets and spun the propeller. After meticulously assembling it together within several months, my mother took us to the Ramat Gan national park where we rowed a boat to the middle of the lake, attached the battery according to the instructions and carefully set the humming ship in the water.   

       We rowed away to give it some Independence but that turned out to be be a mistake. A small wave rocked the Bismarck violently. The humming sound changed to a gurgle. Tiny waves were emitting around the ship but it didn't seem to be advancing too much.   

       Staring at it for a minute or two we realized that it was actually not advancing at all. It seemed that it was losing it's height in the water as well.. The guns were still turning this way and that, but slower now. Then we noticed that the deck was barely above the water.   

       When the gurgling sound changed to crackling we were alarmed enough to spring into action and tried to carefully approach the Bismarck from it's starboard.   

       That was a second and fatal mistake. As I reached out with my hand to grab the ship, while dangerously leaning out of our boat, a thin film of shinning water covered the deck. Guns still turning and tiny circular waves still emitting from the hull, the layer above the deck slowly changed to dark green and then, with my hand still moving in haste but surprisingly advancing in slow motion, it disappeared into the murky water. We stared at the location in silent awe, and that is when the single burp of a large bubble popped and signified the ships fate. It can be found exactly where it sunk, and lies there waiting, to this very day.
pashute, May 17 2019

       // and fatal mistake //   

       No, the fatal mistake was not filling the fuel bunkers before leaving Norway, and operating so far from land based air cover without a destroyer escort.
8th of 7, May 17 2019

       I always thought that somehow a bathtub and some roller-skates were involved. But that might have been just ACME trying to sell more products.
RayfordSteele, May 19 2019


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