Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Morning-star Mace.

It should work fine in the evenings too.
  [vote for,

A mace is the spiky evolution of the club. Add a chain between handle and the head to make a morning-star.
This is great for extra range while on horse-back and the extra swing arc really packs a whallop, although the lethality is a bit off-putting.

For a modern non-lethal alternative why not just turn those nasty spikes into pressure sensitive release valves which disperse a jet of capsaicin upon contact, and while we're at it, let's incorporate a retractable chain for extra range and whallop-ability.

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       I have concerns about windage.
normzone, May 03 2013

       Love it. Makes me think...
Private Boney Bunney, May 03 2013

       //concerns about windage//   

       It's self winding...   

       //morning star flail//   

       Well crap.   

       //Morning-star Mace// sounds slightly rude.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 04 2013

       Morning-Star Mace™   

       Easier to fit into the night-table drawer than the traditional cattleprod yet just as effective at ensuring that the one-night-stand won't turn into an unwelcome houseguest in the light of day.   

       Available sizes: Petite(8oz), Regular(16oz) and Jumbo(32oz).
FlyingToaster, May 04 2013

       First, the Pedantry:   

       - A mace is a crushing weapon featuring a fixed head on a rigid shaft. Some maces have protruding spikes, studs, or flanges, while others are smooth.   

       - A flail is a crushing/entanglement weapon featuring one or more weighty head(s) tethered to the shaft by means of chain or thong.   

       -This belongs in the 'product: weapon' category. It's been a long time since I saw a cop wielding a flail or a morning star (which is a certain style of flanged mace, rather than spiked).
Alterother, May 05 2013


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