Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Murder and rapine

Let out your inner evil cretin
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
  [vote for,

in this action packed adventure game! You play as a pirate and your objective is to amass heaps of treasure while attracting (and paying) the best crew members, avoiding Her Majesty's navy, and avoiding mutiny. Ravish maidens, fight armies and pillage towns among other unsavory activities.

Upgrade your pirate ship from dozens of different models. Buy cannon, equip your crew, and upgrade your character with farseeing parrots, the peg leg of destiny, and the hook of slaying among many others. Practice navigation, strategy, and keep your ear open for the ticking croc.

edit: minor grammar fix

Voice, Oct 02 2010

It's a start. http://www.online-g...irates-conflict.php
pirate themed strategy flash game [Voice, Oct 23 2011]

Skull and Bones https://www.ubisoft...me/skull-and-bones/
It's more than a start [Voice, Nov 28 2017]

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       Grand Theft Schooner
FlyingToaster, Oct 02 2010

       Sounds just like running a bank.
xenzag, Oct 02 2010

       You can take the Grand Theft concept and transplant it to any historical setting. Grand Theft Longboat, anyone?
DrWorm, Oct 02 2010

Funny word that, swaaashbuuuckle.

       just saying.   

       As for the idea, I would like to see a Norse variation.
Guten Thorft Otto

       That's what I meant with "longboat". Ach!
DrWorm, Oct 02 2010


       I left the anno box open while I surfed swashbuckle off-shoots in another window and didn't see yours before I clicked [OK].   

       Cheers. <you owe me a beer>   

       Cheers. As to that beer...
DrWorm, Oct 02 2010

       It's not ready yet but I've a closet full of it.
normzone, Oct 26 2011

       I dunno about the rest of you, but when I come home from a long, tiring shift at work, the last thing I want to do is play a game simulating what I've been doing all day.
Alterother, Oct 26 2011

       I feel like there's a lot of people these days refining their evil inner cretin with very high resolution simulation systems.
mylodon, Nov 28 2017

       // Sounds just like running a bank. //   

       Rubbish. The idea is for piracy, which is considerably more honest and ethical than banking.   

       Pirates don't rob you and then claim you're getting a service in return. Pirates don't victimize the poor, the disadvantaged and the helpless, for the obvious reason they have very very little worth taking - but that doesn't inhibit bankers. Pirates don't shop you to the taxman, but still keep the fees they charge.   

       Pirates are nothing more than greedy, callous, vicious amoral thugs. If only bankers were like that, they might get a bit more respect. Perhaps they could work their way up through more respectable occupations, like prostitution, arms trading, arson, or selling illegal drugs. That could introduce them to the concept of being paid a fee in return for a verifiable product or service, rather than just taking the money and not doing anything in return.   

       Might take a while, though.
8th of 7, Nov 28 2017

       //Pirates don't victimize the poor, the disadvantaged and the helpless// Oh my, are we seeing a kinder, gentler side of the collective?
Voice, Dec 02 2017

       No, we are merely restating the bleedin' obvious.   

       Taking candy from a baby makes perfect sense. There is almost no effort involved, and no risk.   

       But if the baby only has a very small amount of low-quality candy, and has been sucking on it for a while, thus contaminating it with the usual disgusting cocktail of putrescent bacteria with which all repulsive human offspring appear to be infested, the undeniable risk of catching something nasty is much greater than the potential enjoyment available from a dirty, shoddy, near worthless sliver of confectionary.   

       Much better just to douse the ugly, squalling thing with a bucket full of cold, dirty water, and wander off giggling.   

       On reflection, the paragraph was badly phrased. Stealing from the helpless is of course a most sensible and rational course of action. It's the poor and disadvantaged that simply aren't worth the effort.   

       If you can find targets that are rich, advantaged, but helpless ,then you're on a winner, and good luck to you.
8th of 7, Dec 02 2017

       //If only bankers were like that,//   

       As far as I can see, bankers are basically like air traffic controllers. ATCs only exist to stop planes from banging into each other in the air; but the odds of two planes being coincident in all three spatial dimensions _and_ time would be astonishingly low, were it not for ATCs who marshall them all into narrow air corridors.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 02 2017


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