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Murder of Crows Retail Assistants

Instead of useless retail staff how about well trained crows
  (+13, -2)(+13, -2)
(+13, -2)
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I was watching a nature show demonstrating the intelligence of crows and was blown away by how quickly they could problem solve. They seemed to solve problems using tools in such a complex way, that I know many a human would fail at miserably.

Since I have a friend who is a retail manager, who regularly gripes about the stupidity of some of his staff, I thought he could do better with an intelligent creature that could be trained to problem solve, and do simple tasks. The crows could do things like bar code swiping, tagging etc, that his human staff often fail to do out of laziness and stupidity.

Also, crows would make excellent shop security, and are known to recognize faces, and can be trained to recognize behaviors that can be seen as threatening. Typically crows will call out when they recognize a threat, and even gang up on the perceived threat.

Could you imagine a shoplifter being chased by a murder of crows?

Of course a special coop, or area should be built around the ceiling to stop the birds from pooping everywhere.

They would be exceptionally useful as mall, or parking lot security too.

You could start crow training and employment agencies. The market is vast.

LACforshizzle, Sep 06 2010

Crows Never Forget a Face http://www.nytimes....science/26crow.html
[LACforshizzle, Sep 07 2010]

Panda Corporation Panda_20Corporation
wherein putting beasts to work is discussed. [calum, Sep 07 2010]

crow manager http://www.gifs.net...rds/Crow_smokes.gif
[xandram, Sep 08 2010]

Stark raven mad http://www.avesnoir.com/archives/35
[Jinbish, Sep 08 2010]


       What's not to like about this ?   

8th of 7, Sep 06 2010

       I'm skeptical about the effective use of crows as retail assistants. However, I am fairly certain about the need to integrate wildlife into the schematic structure of society.
rcarty, Sep 07 2010

       All sympathies where appropriate, but my sweetheart is in retail management, and while I know some employees are sharper than others, a skilled manager trains up and advances their sharper tools. For the rest it's learn or burn.   

       We are swarmed by crows here, and the stories I've heard of crow pets always contain tales of money or jewelry coming home, so I wager you could teach them to make change.
normzone, Sep 07 2010

       I suggest a cleaning staff comprised of hungry pidgeons.
DrWorm, Sep 07 2010

       Are crows really stupid enough to take retail jobs?
Wrongfellow, Sep 07 2010

       Well quite. Start giving them jobs and money and pretty soon the crows will be running the world.
DrBob, Sep 07 2010

       Can they be trained to use the employees' washroom, that's the question on which all else hinges.
mouseposture, Sep 08 2010

       I personally love crows, and would like nothing better than to have one serve me something on a platter, other than the other way around. As in eating "crow", you know? So maybe cross train them to be waiters too.
blissmiss, Sep 08 2010

       The idea of getting crows to do things that are useful to society has been thought of before. There's a ted.com talk about the intelligence of crows by josh klein where he describes a vending machine for crows that he made. The crows are trained to find money for the machine in exchange for food, but it could also be done with rubbish etc. Basically his point was that instead of thinking of animals like crows as pests, we should establish mutually beneficial relationships.
hattiel, Sep 08 2010

       How do I ask a crow which stereo system contains the set of features that best meet my individual and finely honed personal requirements?   

       Or, if my washing-machine has packed up, how do I succesfully indicate to the crow that it can blimming well give me my money back?   

       How does a crow recognise that no, I do not wish to purchase an extended warranty?   

       Crows on commission - shudder the thought.
zen_tom, Sep 08 2010

       caw- welcome to the halfbakery! I like the idea of employing crows! + I'd like to see them dressed in cute little outfits, too.
xandram, Sep 08 2010

       And a parliament of rooks as floor managers?   

       To help shoppers with their purchases, there could be Carrying Crows.
Jinbish, Sep 08 2010

       Coming soon, the Building of Rooks Construction Company...
gnomethang, Sep 08 2010

       Crow Unions... Bleh
xxobot, Sep 09 2010

       //Like the Counting Crows?//   

       Definitely not. They should be shot on sight. High alert status when within earshot and load shotguns!
Jinbish, Sep 09 2010

       If crows can recognize faces, maybe they can be trained to recognize facial expressions and mannerisms too. If so, they may play useful a role in airport security teams.
swimswim, Sep 09 2010

       Don't get me started on blinkin' Counting Crows <grumble, grumble>
{Former flatmate and still great mate played that triumph of blandness "American Girls", *all* the time. He also referred to them as "The Crows" or the "The Trues Crows", knowing full well that I like The Black Crowes. I'm scarred for life...}
Jinbish, Sep 09 2010

       //How does a crow recognise that no, I do not wish to purchase an extended warranty?// You will purchase the warranty or he will eat your eyes while you sleep. Your choice.
shapu, Sep 11 2010


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