On entering the Museum Of Clichés the first exhibit is the
stamping mechanism that validates your ticket. Here we are
greeted by a heavy mechanical dog, who's entire body is wagged
up and down by its fixed tail. Its nostrils bash a suitable mark unto
the entry receipt.
Venturing further in
reveals a vast corridor of cabinets, each one
housing a physical manifestation of one of those well known
clichés in common usage, along with an archive of the ones that
have dropped out of popular parlance.
These are organised into categories, like time, where we see (for
example) a collection of clocks and watches, each with a sliver
sliced out of them, supplemented by a magnifying glass poised
over the gap to see what's actually there. Other clocks have the
figure "9" firmly sewn in place.
Billowing clouds flutter overhead sparking with silver interiors as
we progress towards the food counter. Umbrellas protect the
visitors from a constant deluge of falling cats and dogs, which
bounce off harmlessly and safely into the multiple arms of Jesus.
(there is of course a religious cliché annex)
On reaching the food sector we find a fine selection of edible hats
are available, fortified by a range of all types of food fashioned
into perfect little squares. Dripping milk mingles with pointless
tears, the sound being punctuated by the dog who barks at the
tree devoid of the sausages hanging within each reach on the one
Suitably nourished, we can hope that there is no need to make use
of the gut wrench hanging up beside the perpetually shivering
spine exhibit. With large and obvious writing on the wall to direct
us, we continue past the reciprocating elbows, lubricated by jars
of grease, to reach the medicine chest where the various bottles
and potions are festooned with the best of jokes and clownish
The Museum is vast and the collection is comprehensive, so we
will make a potentially very long story short.
We cannot describe all of its exhibits without creating a very long
As we leave, we join a line of Elvis look-a-likes, crossing
the bridge as we come to it.