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My Personal CapCom

We got men to the moon, now we’ll ensure your special day runs smoothly
  [vote for,

Have you ever found yourself in a stressful situation where you felt you needed more help? There are a million things going on and not enough time to deal with it all. Maybe its moving day...or you are the maid of honor on someone’s wedding day...or perhaps you are putting on a once-a-year event for a local charity. How will everything get done? Oh no, you forgot some critical detail and there’s no time to fix it! What will you do?

Well have we got a service for you: My Personal CapCom! Founded by an elite group of former NASA ground controllers (laid off due to recent budget cuts), MPC can facilitate any operation, no matter how complex. Our people will meet with you prior to your event, and prepare checklists and possible trouble spots for your project or day. Then our trained experts will research every possible thing that could go wrong and prepare backup plans. Domain-specific experts will be on hand in our Mission Control to provide additional information on the fly during your Mission Day.

Then, on your Mission Day, you will be supplied with personal communications equipment (including GPS locator device) to keep in touch with your personal “capsule communicator”. These are available in several varieties:

* Headset and tiny lip-mike with voice activated mike key for complete hands-free operation. Complete with Apollo-esque ‘beep’ sounds when you unkey your mike, and deliberate distortion of the sound for effect.

* Hidden microphone in your shirtsleeve, with tiny hidden earpiece wired down through your collar. Perfect for use on Mission Days that require formal attire. (Black helicopters and other accessories available for completion of the espionage look).

* Shoulder mounted police-style hand mike with loudspeaker. Great for impressing colleagues with your CapCom chatter. (Note: impersonating a police officer not recommended).

Your Personal CapCom will be in constant touch with you throughout your Mission Day to help you with any trouble that arises. Need a piece of info? Ask for it. Need a task completed that you don't have time for? Ask for it. Field personnel will be deployed to assist with your activities as you move about.

My Personal CapCom! Available by the day, special rates for full weeks. Mobile support and field personnel costs extra. Black helicopters cost extra. Ask about our new barter option, where you can supply your domain-specific expertise to someone else’s Mission Day!

“Houston, we are go for throttle up.”
“Roger that.”

krelnik, Oct 21 2002

Possible trademark infringement?.. http://www.capcom.com
Power Stone rocks! [Mr Burns, Oct 21 2002]


       I could have used one of these.
Do you thumbwax take this woman, The Whore of Babylon to be your lawful wedded wife?
<Mission Control>Abort! Abort Mission! Abort Mission, do you read me!? Over?! *sob*</Mission Control>
thumbwax, Oct 21 2002

       No Megaman?
Mr Burns, Oct 21 2002

Jinbish, Oct 21 2002

       "Ground Control to Major Tom ..........."
8th of 7, Oct 21 2002


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