Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Name Badge Voodoo Dolls

For when your employees leave for the competition
  [vote for,

Does your business frequently suffer when your key technical employees leave you in a lurch, taking their knowlege, your current product development state, trade secrets, favorite mug, and red Swingline stapler, and disappear to the competition, despite signing non-compete clauses? Discourage that kind of behavior with our Voodoo Name Badge Dolls. These employee lookalike voodoo dolls contain regular proximity card information and a picture ID of your employee, but are all cursed by certified Haitian Voodoo practicioners* for your company's trade secret protection in case they leave. Sold with a supply of extra-long hat pins, "for fixing them securely to your employee's shirt."

(Results vary).

*Voodoo practioners which are certified to be from Haiti

RayfordSteele, Dec 01 2011

This is the "747" model. I fondly remember the mini size I had a kid... http://www.google.c...869116009837416030#
[normzone, Dec 01 2011]


       I believe it's "swingline". Isn't the best way to keep employees loyal to treat them better than your competition would?
normzone, Dec 01 2011

       //Isn't the best way to keep employees loyal to treat them better than your competition would// Yeah, I thought so too. Don't underestimate an employee's inflated sense of entitlement fed by false expectations about the greenness of the grass on the other side. He knows NOW how good he had it, but the damage has been done. My voodoo practicioners jabbed him alright - but they charged an inordinately high rate per hour (plus photocopying costs).
AusCan531, Dec 02 2011

       They see me rollin, they be Haitian.   

       good catch on the stapler [normzone] - I thought maybe there was a version that one could hang around their neck...
xandram, Dec 02 2011

       Ooops. Definitely Swingline. Just a typo. I'll go swat some flies now.
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2011

       Excellent, [RayS]!! This idea would be great plot-line fodder for a sequel to the cult classic movie, "Office Space"! Bun! [+]
Grogster, Dec 03 2011

       // sequel to the cult classic movie, "Office Space"!// Would be a Voodoo cult classic.
mouseposture, Dec 03 2011


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