Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Naturally occuring legal herbs and compounds in a REAL happy meal.
  [vote for,

Narcoburger(tm) could sell herbally enhanced burgers, that could really make you happy. It's not like existing fast food chains don't already docotor their food in every legal possible way, but why not use it as a marketing point?

I reccently discovered the wonders of a natural product called 5HTP, which is a natural extract of the Griffonia Simplificonia plant's bean. 5HTP is a intermediate step between naturally occuring L-trytophan (the stuff in turkey that makes you so sleepy after xmas dinner) amino acid and the neurotransmitter serotonin. Serotonin is a brain chemical that is involved in many states of mind relating to mood, emotions, sleep sex etc. If your depressed it's because your serotonin levels are low for any number of reasons.

It got me thinking. What if you made a food product innocently incorporating something like the Griffonia bean it would have a significant anti-depressant effect. It would be non-addictive with positive health benefits, although the reinforcement factor would be rather strong. A 50mg dose of 5HTP will usually promote relaxation, contentedness and sometimes drowsiness. For those low on serotonin it would improve mood and normalise apetite and sex drive. Of all legal mind altering herbals it seems to be the most potent with no negative effects. It'd be the flagship product for my proposed (toungue-in-cheek) business:

Narcoburger(tm): How about YOU smile for a change.

You could equally well advertise your mind altering products as you could put them in the food without telling anyone. There are other substances that are good too: BZP or benzyl piperazine, occuring naturally in black pepper along with piperine, is a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant much like methamphetamine, except very legal and relatively safe. It's why really peppery foods can give you a bit of a buzz as. (Tangent: I've heard of have been documented cases of people being addicted to excessive black pepper on food. Even my own grandfather used to have it on fricken everything). It could have a mildly addictive effect from the release of dopamine. Still less than caffiene. Cayenne pepper, capsicum, chilli and many other peppers are in the same camp - all seem to have some kind of stimulating mind altering properties. These could be exploited further i'm sure.

You'd have a burger that'd wake you up and keep you wired for hours, no doubt burning off all that fat.

Legal dance drugs, marketed as safe alternatives to illicit substances frequently contain BZP and pepper extracts. These are gaining popularity worldwide if not already in big circulation. But why pop a pill when you can have the whole brainwashing sensory bombardment that is the mcwhatsitkingville fast food kingdom plus the finger licking goodness of fat-oozing meat, salt caked fries? (Although seriously, you could have a small outlet aimed at the just-for-kicks side of it all)

So you could choose your narco value meal depending on your mood and it would kick off high times for the rest of your day. (Breakfast menu items would encorporate lots of caffiene no doubt)

This idea is so good, i'm going to put in my list of million dollar ideas (that i'll never get round to doing), and dream of my herbally enhanced food cafe. Meanwhile feel free to applaud/critique/flame....... :D

venomx, Jul 13 2003

As per first anno http://www.halfbake...20Employees_20Smile
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Happy Herb's Pizzeria http://www.pigdog.o...ortfeature/235.html
Phnom Penh, Cambodia. [my face your, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

turkey making you sleepy is an urban legend http://www.snopes.c...gredient/turkey.htm
[mrthingy, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       It might make McDonald's employees smile.
thumbwax, Jul 13 2003

       "I'll have a dozen burgers! No wait! 2 dozen! And a pack of fries for now!"
sartep, Jul 13 2003

       I'll have a bacon double pleaseburger...
silverstormer, Jul 13 2003

       Anyone seen that some lawyers are considering suing McDs for their food being addictive? A recent study demonstrated that rats developed similar dependency traits when fed on burgers etc to those seen in rats hooked on heroin. So freakin' what, I say. I bet I could get a zebra hooked on chocolate if I really wanted to. Are these pathetic, greedy food tubes saying that they don't know any better than a fucking rat? "Oh, fat and sugar taste so nice. I just can't help myself." Fuck off.
sild, Jul 14 2003

       [sild] I think it's a part of the sad and seemingly inexorable death of personal responsibility.
bristolz, Jul 14 2003

       Hey, that remark hurt my feelings! I'm suing you!
snarfyguy, Jul 14 2003

       ha ha ha ha!!! At least it's nice that we could know what are the REAL components of what you're eating.
Pericles, Jul 14 2003

       Why not make all that high fat food taste like old dead animals? You could also make the taste of celery and carrots deliver an instant orgasm. Health food would be fun. Then I could sue for getting hooked on orgasms. << Honest, I can quit anytime Doc. Please just let me have one more celery stick, please.>>
LabRat, Jul 15 2003

       Maybe that can be part of our class action lawsuit: "... knowingly and wilfully enabling and assisting users in contributing to the Halfbakery, which site has already been demonstrated to possess addictive properties."
snarfyguy, Jul 15 2003

       You can overdose on anything, even water. While too much meat or fries will give you indigestion or a fat ass, too much 5HTP will give you Serotonogenic Syndrome : http://www.erowid.org/ask/ask.cgi?ID=2981 Same goes for any excessive amounts of vitamines. BZP does not come from or related to peppers. Google for 'BZP peppers' and click on the first link. Besides, DEA Scheduled it. You could make wine or beer using Morning Glory or Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds, but then again I dont know how the DEA would look at it.
nailz420, Aug 19 2003


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