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National Porn Service

Speed up the internet by removing the need to use it to access pornography
  (+9, -5)
(+9, -5)
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A recent survey showed that almost 50% of UK internet traffic is porn-related. This is a lot of wasted bandwith! The National Porn Service that I am proposing would distribute porn to peoples houses, free of charge, using advertising to generate funds. Instead of using PCs connected to the internet to access hardcore pornography, one would simply view magazines and videos supplied by the National Porn Service. The material would be delivered free of charge, much like free newspapers, on a weekly basis. Those not interested will be able to remove themselves from the mailing list. The material will be customisable, depending on interests and tastes via a satisfaction questionairre delivered with the porn. With all the extra free bandwith that would become available, the internet could be put to the uses it was originally designed for.
ccaamgw, Jul 28 2000


       Have you read the new Yahoo magazine? It contains an article tenatively applauding internet porn as a medium of diversity unparalleled in the advertising age. The real tradgedy is that more women with "body issues" do not surf porn - it contains proof positive that there is no woman so homely that she cannot be considered sex goddess - not too mention racial integration on a scale the the NAACP can only dream, or fantasize, about.
Scott_D, Jul 28 2000, last modified Aug 04 2000

       I think J. Edgar Hoover just stopped spinning in his grave.
jutta, Jul 28 2000

       jutta: why?
ccaamgw, Jul 28 2000

       J. Edgar Hoover, late director of the FBI, is (in)famous for trying to control those who were nominally in control of him by selectively providing them with information about their opponents and staff. Knowledge about any sort of sexual divergence was an even more crucial bargaining chip then than it is today, at least outside of the boy scouts.   

       Having an excuse to centrally store and monitor the sexual preferences of everyone in a country would, I'm sure, have excited him very much.
jutta, Jul 28 2000

       How ironic, The internet was designed to disseminate information but in your opinion bandwidth is being wasted by porn related traffic. Did you ever consider that some people think maybe your usage of the Internet is a waste of bandwidth by advocating censorship?
hotdog, Jul 28 2000

       Considering that ccaamgw was talking about sending pr0n to everybody's home at government/advertiser expense, I hardly think that's advocating censorship...   

       And Jutta is correct. How many people would want to give the government <ANY government> a list of answers to -extremely- personal questions?
StarChaser, Jul 29 2000

       hotdog: my idea was rather tongue-in-cheek -- of course the internet is a fantastic technology for disseminating information and I'm sure it is used for many useful applications other than porn,most of the time!
ccaamgw, Jul 29 2000

       I would rather speed up the Internet by removing all NON-porn sites.
mrthingy, Nov 01 2000

       The big question has to be did your brother in law's boss buy that?
imagooAJ, Nov 02 2000

       If it eliminates the countless porn spam mails I get weekly, then I'm all for it. I'm also all for the government providing paper weekly for the bottom of my bird cages and whelping boxes. I could order extra and use it in the fireplace too.
Susen, Feb 12 2001

       Susen? is that really you Susan? "Are you a readers wife, with a little black box covering your eyes?"
DaveSt, Aug 25 2001

       I thought this idea was going to be like military service, where upon hitting 18, all fresh-faced youngsters would be obliged to go off and perform their duty for the country.
-alx, Aug 25 2001

       alx, you're thinking of benfrost's "Porn Conscription" idea.
wiml, Aug 25 2001

       If users aren't wasting bandwidth on porn, they'll be wasting paper (and trees) on porn.
andrewm, Jul 07 2002

       The greatest works of art come from enthusiastic amateurs, not bureaucracies.
pfperry, Jul 07 2002

       free porn delivery would probably be most attractive to pranksters. if this had existed while i was at school all my teachers would have recieved "Bum Beard Fetishist" and "Sexy Toejam" regularily. as it would be free, i could have renewed their subscriptions as fast as they could cancel them.   

       also, //the internet could be put to the uses it was originally designed for//
how originally is originally? if taken literally enough that would exclude all non military uses.
stilgar, Jul 12 2004

       Any medium that provides people with virtually limitless access to porn get the thumbs up from me. I spent many a time as an adolescent gazing wistfully up at the top magazine shelf in the local newsagent, cursing both my lack of height to reach the damn things or the bravery to buy one.
a121509, Jul 13 2004

       Given that we are talking about computer porn, the porn should be sent out as CDs, like AOL does.   

       To subsidize the costs of the CD, it should be sponsored by porn sites. I imagine one can fit over 90 minutes of high quality "commecials" onto one CD.
Madai, Jul 13 2004

       but how would they exist if internet porn has been banned in favour of whatever [ccaamgw] decides the internet was designed for?
stilgar, Jul 17 2004

       What would we do with all the spare band width???
scubadooper, Jul 17 2004


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