Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Near Earth Orbit Conservation Corporation

Previously envisioned as the Homeless Harvesting Heroes
  [vote for,

A momentary image, spawned by a string of annos on [Vernon]'s post, has been with me for a while now, so I thought I'd post it. Not expecting much of a reception, but I have only good intentions.

Periodically the subject of all our space trash comes up, and with it the hazards posed to our rudimentary space program.

Not all humans are strongly social animals - some would rather embrace some version of the hermit lifestyle.

Proposed as a civilian offshoot of the space program, this would be an option for persons who would like to get as far away as possible from the human race, yet still utilize their skills for profit and constructive enterprise.

Housing would be provided in the form of low cost spacecraft [link]. These individuals would sweep the skies, tracking and retrieving hazardous materials that could threaten satellites and manned vessels.

Their finds would be traded in for supplies and credits at periodic rendevous with manned vessels and stations.

They could also administer the orbital toaster systems [link] and the soda shooters [link].

normzone, Aug 20 2006

The [Vernon] idea Vacuum_20Cleaner
[normzone, Aug 20 2006]

Affordable housing Low_20budget_20spacecraft
[normzone, Aug 20 2006]

Schedule your toast early, please. Orbital_20toaster
[normzone, Aug 20 2006]

Beverage with that toast? SDI_3a_20Sodapop_20Defense_20Initiative
[normzone, Aug 20 2006]

Steptoe and Son http://www.bbc.co.u...ndson_7776035.shtml
BBC comedy from way back. [Ling, Aug 20 2006]

Foam Hulled Spacecraft Foam Hulled Spacecraft
Clearly a superior method of creating low-cost spaceships. [zen_tom, Aug 21 2006]

Mars needs women http://www.jabootu....bnotes/marsneed.htm
Great - now I have to go find some place I can rent this. [normzone, Sep 02 2006]

And the call goes out for our brave men and women who sweep the lanes... http://www.cnn.com/...te.crash/index.html
[normzone, Feb 12 2009]

Stargazing- Memoirs of a young lighthouse keeper http://www.amazon.c...eeper/dp/1841956511
for jmvw [simonj, Jul 07 2009]

Brin says Patrick Farley trailer near release http://www.youtube....fE&feature=youtu.be
I like Patrick Farley's work very much... [normzone, May 22 2012]

Kessler event on the horizon http://www.antipope...gone-dark.html#more
[normzone, Oct 06 2015]

Government funded program to provide work for many https://www.cnn.com...-command/index.html
...creating work materials or cleaning them up, it's not clear... [normzone, Aug 29 2019]

Getting closer to financial viability ... https://getpocket.c...ource=pocket-newtab
... sometimes rightfully confused with liability [normzone, Nov 19 2019]

Wikipedia: Mars Needs Moms https://en.wikipedi...iki/Mars_Needs_Moms
Mentioned in my anno. 2011 movie [notexactly, Nov 24 2019]

Wikipedia: Mars Needs Guitars! https://en.wikipedi...Mars_Needs_Guitars!
Mentioned in my anno. 1985 music album [notexactly, Nov 24 2019]

Automation taking our jobs ... https://www.cnn.com...scli-scn/index.html
[normzone, Dec 13 2019]

Great read in the New Yorker ... https://www.newyork...&utm_term=TNY_Daily
[normzone, Sep 22 2020]

Short film based around a similar idea https://www.imdb.co...ref_=nm_flmg_act_20
(OK, it's 7 years old, but I only just saw it thanks to YouTube...) [neutrinos_shadow, Sep 22 2020]

Somebody else giving it a go ... https://www.cnn.com...cale-scn/index.html
[normzone, Mar 21 2021]

Just dropping by to say hello ... https://www.msn.com...lsignout&li=BBnb7Kz
[normzone, Aug 18 2021]

more work for us https://www.cnet.co...vx382nSaMvmj0UD7Jy8
[normzone, Nov 16 2021]


       I really like this idea. reminds me of when I was a kid I used to day dream of space ships and such, with me ending up leaving the planet and living in space.   

       I would very much love to do this. But since my childhood I have created a pretty good life here on earth so there is no desire to leave. But still, lurking far away in the back of my mind there is a different life, a different world. I don't go there anymore, except in voting for this idea +.
zeno, Aug 20 2006

       Steptoe and Son in space.
Ling, Aug 20 2006

       Nice, [normzone]. The same personality type may give rise to pirates, so some of these collectors could become orbiting villains;   

       "Where'd you get that gold foil array?"   

       "Fell off the side of a News Corp Series Fh Relay, ... guv..."
ConsulFlaminicus, Aug 20 2006

       LEO, GEO, and NEO?
jellydoughnut, Aug 20 2006

       Sounds almost as good as living in and operating a lighthouse on some rocky island way off the coast of Scotland. Can we bring women?
jmvw, Aug 22 2006

       Mars needs women [link].
normzone, Sep 02 2006

       I like the concept of a halfbaked idea that requires a bunch of other halfbaked ideas in order to work. Hats off to [normzone] the optimist.
wagster, Sep 14 2006

       The current theory of planet formation indicates that they start as a ring of material around a larger body (a star for planets, a planet for moons.) Since all urban societies have great difficulty in disposing of waste a space elevator that would transport garbage into a determined orbit would create a pre-moon ring that would eventually coalesce into a moon. The excess of pigshit on Earth could be added as a cosmic glue. No doubt it eventually would become the source of new innovative life forms. The rest of space garbage would become a minor addition to this defecation station.
JSand, Jan 24 2007

       Didn't Elite (late, lamented wonderufl game) have space hermits who did this? If I remember rightly you could shoot them and capture their haul.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 31 2007

       I like this idea A LOT!
Moonguy, Jun 02 2008

       heheh, I only want to put them to work planting sterile trees (shameless self-promotion "Tundra Treeline" post)... I guess some people would consider it a bonus that "bums in orbit" would be physically incapable of returning to Earth after awhile due to bone/muscle degeneration.
FlyingToaster, Jun 02 2008

       re: normzone's latest link. You have to laugh. All that money that has been spent by various nations on developing an anti-satellite missile and the Russians manage to get a much more effective result just by crashing into a satellite with a large piece of junk.
DrBob, Feb 12 2009

       I was wondering - could Iridium successfully sue the Russians for running into their satellite? Unless the birds have booster capability, I guess the responsibility would lie with whoever put their bird up second.
normzone, Jul 06 2009

       I just learned recently that the world decided that you can't salvage space junk in orbit so yeah, sue them.
FlyingToaster, Jul 06 2009

       // Sounds almost as good as living in and operating a lighthouse on some rocky island way off the coast of Scotland. Can we bring women?   

       I can highly recommend this book (link) if such things interest you.
simonj, Jul 07 2009

       Preheated in Accelerando, I think, though I think they were only capturing natural satellites, and maybe only to harvest matter rather than to get them out of the way.   

       // Mars needs women [link]. //   

       Not just women, but moms [link]. Also guitars [link]!
notexactly, Nov 24 2019

       “Imagine how dangerous sailing the high seas would be if all the ships ever lost in history were still drifting on top of the water,” (link)
normzone, Sep 22 2020


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