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Do you sleep like a log? Once you get your head down are you out like a light? Dead to the world?
If so, then you need the new Nightmare Scenario audiobook service. Hire us and we will send a cheery & pleasant person around to interview you and take photographs of your house & neighbourhood.
The results of the interview will be used to write a personalised horror story based on your own particular circumstances. We will then record it in any required media format using a famously deep-voiced actor and provide a media player to keep by the side of your bed.
For our premium service, instead of an audiobook, we will record a full cast dramatisation with the actor/actress of your choice playing the part of you.
All you need to do is set the timer to come on when you are likely to be absolutely sparko and hey presto! You need never suffer an undisturbed nights sleep ever again.
One of my best ideas
and everybody hated it. Cretins, the lot of you. [FlyingToaster, Mar 14 2012]
A horse is a horse of course of course
[calum, Mar 14 2012]
||Hmm... I think I did this... <link>
||Don't hold back now, [blissy].
||I guess this is halfbaked. (Better? Got up on wrong
side of bed).
||I wasn't criticizing, it was semi-ironic encouragement. It's
hard to convey inflection in plaintext.