h a l f b a k e r yWhy did I think of that?
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This idea at first seemed so trite to me that I was sure I would turn up something about it. But no - so here goes. Inflatable breast implants are nothing new - saline "expanders" are used to stretch soft tissue to allow placement of a permanent breast implant. But why does the implant need to be
filled with water, silicone or other heavy stuff? Many women would be just as happy to have lightweight front sides - less backaches and bouncing for sure. But they still want to look good.
My proposition: conventional breast implants are instead filled with nitrogen. The result: very lightweight breasts, with near normal contour.
(?) Air embolism
http://anestit.unipa.it/gta/vae.html [bungston, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]
[link]
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// But why does the implant need to be filled with water, silicone or other heavy stuff? // |
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I would presume the choice of material is determined based on how closely it will behave to normal body tissue. |
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Seems these would be prone to more bouncing, not less. |
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Bouncing is from inertia, waugs. Run along carrying a full 2L pop bottle in one hand and an empty one in the other, both at arms length. See which bounces more. As regards normal body tissue, the capsule is the interface here - and this plan uses the same capsule already designed for compatibility. I should have added that the Nitrogen Breasts would be less prone to rupture, as gas is compressible and silicone/saline is not.. |
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Worth a try to those willing as it would increase knowledge in this concern for the improvement of our (subjective) aesthetics. |
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bung, the problem with your experiment is that women, as a rule, do not carry their breasts in each hand, at arm's length. |
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Attach the bottles to your chest. The empty one will flop all over the place. |
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I think a better example would be ballons, which one bounces more, the one with the water in it, or the one with the air in it? the water ballon would have more "bounce". I'm not sure that breasts filled with nitrogen would be quite as fun to squeeze as those with traditional implants. |
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Ok then, fill with foam rubber. That's mostly air, or nitrogen if you prefer. |
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I see where this is going. We are sticking with nitrogen, dang it. |
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fill them with helium! let the ones
with the biggest cahungas (yes
that's my own word) fly away! |
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Could they double as life preservers? Being in front they would even keep the face turned up. |
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The logical improvement on this would be helium filled ears to give the head extra flotation. Imagine, not just these flopping sheets of pink flesh, but well rounded spheres of pleasure on each side of your head. You don't even need a pillow any more to sleep. |
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Someone will now ask why I didn't suggest to fill the head with Helium, but that's already baked. |
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Fill them with hydrogen and they can be connected to a personnal gas jet defense system. |
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But remember what happened to the Hindennburg. |
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Yes, that is how I spell it. |
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You'd need an expanding bra for low pressure or high temperature environments. |
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You'd need expanding and contracting skin as well. I do hear tell that in the early days of boob enlargement Helium was indeed used. Unfortunately this had rather explosive consequences for the air hostesses who underwent the operation. |
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<Would you like anything from the drinks trolley Sir...BANG!...I do beg your pardon Sir> mops scraps of breast tissue from the passengers face. |
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<obligatory> use custard </obligatory> |
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OK now someone needs to work on a bass box. |
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I can't believe I said that. <Checks Yellow Pages for Mind Wipes> |
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I immediately thought "Helium" too - but [po]'s idea has some merit. Shirley all we'd need to do is implant some custard powder and let nature do the rest. Left is vanilla, right is chocolate. |
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Implanted Guiness gas widgets... for when you need a boost. |
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I'm beginning to think that no-one on this list has touched a human female breast... |
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Think what you like, sunshine. |
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[bliss] Udderly baffeling. |
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The comment //Could they double as life preservers? // brings up a good issue. Say goodbye to swimming laps after surgery. Don't even think of SCUBA diving (although you'd have some emergency extra tanks). |
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Then again, the engineer in my loves this. Minimize weight wherever possible, I say. |
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Air in blood vessels is bad - but not super bad; the air will wind up in the lung and eventually be absorbed. Silicone emboli, on the other hand, lodge in the lung and stay there forever - as bad as a blood clot. Saline is undoubtedly the safest in this contest. |
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I did not think of the barometric pressure thing. Scuba would be OK - these folks would just need extra weights. Skydiving - maybe not. |
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So is custard a problem or not? |
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/ the air will wind up in the lung and eventually be absorbed/ |
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As long as it doesn't try to go through the heart first. An airlock there would, I think, classify as super-bad. Not sure how custard would fare haha. I'm no biologist but I'm not sure the heart's action could cope with a non-newtonian fluid. |
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I found a link on the air embolism question. It looks like small ones happen fairly often. As regards custard - that was what I saw coming when the foam rubber idea was proposed. What can you do. I am not sure custard would be a great improvement over silicone: both "thixotropic" (sp?). |
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<<Finding it odd that [dbsousa] felt the need to specify "human" female breast. Odd, very odd. As opposed to hmmm...inhuman?--blissmiss, Jun 12 2003 >> |
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I allowed for the fact that farmerjohn may be a dairy farmer.
I mentioned this because all previous inquiries dealt exclusively with the look of the finished project. No-one mentioned the fact that it would feel like a four square ball. Not comfortable for the owner or her partner. |
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[dbsousa] - not clear to me how the four square ball feel would be less comfortable than a conventional implant. Gas filled means more compressible - for close contact, sleeping on belly etc. For non-contact everyday situations they are lighter. And I still maintain there would be less bounce (for horseback riding etc). As regards the whole bounce question, I was hoping from some input from some physics/engineers types, since waugs and I seem to be at an impasse on this. |
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What's wrong with a little bounce anyway? Can I post a nitrogen booty? |
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If you have enough stamps you can. |
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//Gas filled means more compressible - for close contact, sleeping on belly etc. //
more compressible = less like a breast and more like a playground ball. |
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Take an under inflated balloon and hold it tightly in your hand so that it constricts the air between two makeshift chambers. |
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at one end of your clenched fist is the part of the balloon with all the air, and at the other end is uninflated balloon. Apply pressure to the end filled with air, and the empty side fills up. |
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Now imagine this happening in your chest cavity. |
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There you go, interconnect the boob balloons. As one side gets compressed, the excess pressure pumps up the other. |
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Okay everybody, let's take a short break then resume with this same discussion using male parts... |
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I dunno, tiger. Ive been bombarded with spam over the past couple of weeks from women (well, they say theyre women) telling me that I could lengthen my thing by 2 to 5 inches. And its an herbal pill that theyre selling, no nasty custard filled bladder implants. No painful and dangerous surgery.
Of course men want this its an elementary school dream, after all. But they dont talk about it. Ever. And women want it too, but would never admit to it to men. So, I dont think your idea for a discussion is going to take off. Unfortunately. |
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[ldischler], I didn't get my hopes up at all. I expected only to hear the sounds from having tossed a monkey wrench into the machinery. |
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Had to comment on [dbsousa]'s false balloon arguement. How is this different than a water filled balloon? |
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Looks like somebody already thought of the "Helium Boob" - http://www.heliumboob.com |
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//Don't even think of SCUBA diving (although you'd have some emergency extra tanks).\\ |
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Actually, you can compensate with extra weights. The only problem is, as you go down, the N2 gas will compress, shrinking the bazooms. (that's not really MY word but I wish I'd come up with it.) That would be kind of odd, and you wouldn't fit in the wetsuit anymore. Wetsuits that don't fit right won't keep you warm and that's not very fun. |
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//compensate with extra weights// It wasn't the person floating I was worried about. It's more the strong upward force... perhaps this is a call for the invention of the upside-down underwater bra? |
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// The only problem is, as you go down, the N2 gas will
compress, shrinking the bazooms.// |
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By the same token, no naturalist ski vacations, no hot-
tubbing, no tanning beds. Do not stand in front of
microwave
relay stations... |
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Pluterday saw that her friend, Charlene, did not look
quite herself. She tried a cheery approach on her. |
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"Hey, Charlene, aren't you about to sleep past Bacall
soon?" |
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"Oh pluter, stop. It's not even what you think," groaned
Charlene as her eyes jutted skyward. |
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"Stop it Charlene!" pluterday barked. You know that WILL
make your brain leak?" |
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Even more than that, pluterday hated the thought of one
day having to crawl around on the floor looking for her
friend's wayward eyeball. |
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Refocusing on the moment, pluterday probed her friend
again, for insights, "What is it then, Charlene, are you
having a third PMS this month?" |
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"Oh, for heavens sa..." Charlenes voice trailed as she
lowered her eyeballs. "Well, no, not exactly, pluter. I
don't think this time it's my PMS." |
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Squaring her eyes with pluterdays, Charlene spoke
earnestly. |
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"Pluterday, I think this time its my PSI. |
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Oh gaawd, Look at you! Pluterday gasped. You have
pressure on just one side. |
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Thats only the half of it, Charlene spoke figuratively.
Every time I look in the mirror, its always the other
side
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[TL] You've been here long enough now (longer than me). I think you're ready for the secret. < br > (remove spaces) gets you a single line break - it would work well in your story. |
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Oh, and quite risque writing a Charlene story. Does plute know about this? |
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No problem for short lines but in my browser, when a
longer line ends near the right edge of the letterbox, an
extra space gets forced inside the left arrow of the < br >
code, completely ruining the effect of certain text. |
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I just hope [pluter] has
a good laugh. (I actually wrote that for her.) |
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