h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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This is a national or even international competition to find the least interesting place.
Many towns and cities have historic and interesting forts, temples, bridges, castles, cathedrals, battlefields, or birthplaces of the famous (or notorious, which in some cases is better).
To compensate, there
should be a yearly search for the location (of a minimum size) with absolutely no claim to fame whatsoever.
No-one even remotely famous was born (or died) there. There are no notable buildings, roads, or geographical features. No-one ever passed through on their way to do something famous somewhere else. There have never been any unique local crafts or industries. There are no indigenous foods or beverages, breeds of domestic animals, or inexplicable ancient rocks. There's just ... absolutely bugger all.
Once the annual "winner" is identified and announced, tourists will flock in to visit Dullsville, the most uninteresting place ever. They will spend money in the completely boring and undistinguished shops, all of which are branches of chain stores and exactly the same as every other branch; stay in anonymous motels, assembled from kits of parts which are delivered by truck; and eat "standard menu" food in dining establishments which could be anywhere.
But it might help the local economy. Of course, the worst thing would be for the inhabitants to decide to make their home a bit less dull, by holding an arts festival, or inventing some foolish local "sport" like wet-hen-throwing competitions, thus putting themselves out of the running for next year's prize.
Any location winning three years in a row gets given the trophy to keep, and is then destroyed by a tactical nuclear weapon. Tourists can then come in later years and gawp at the crater.
We suspect that Milton Keynes will be in with a chance of a place in the first year's competition.
Damboring, Western Australia
https://www.austral...ion/east-damboring/ Beat that, if you can. [pertinax, May 27 2018]
That_27s_20A_20Real_20Grey_20Area
greysville [xenzag, May 28 2018]
Nob End
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nob_End [not_morrison_rm, May 28 2018]
Agloe New York
https://www.npr.org...then-not-true-story For 2 Fries [AusCan531, May 29 2018]
So sick they changed the name to avoid the bad p.r.
https://en.m.wikipe...i/Hamilton,_Indiana My place of birth... [RayfordSteele, May 29 2018]
[link]
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//Milton Keynes// could be out of the running by virtue of
holding the national record for per capita suicide rates, thus
being noteworthy in at least one area? |
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Indiana: where our unofficial motto is "drive through
here to get to someplace better." |
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Heh, I read that map makers used to create fictional towns on their maps as a signature to catch others copying their work. Can't remember the name of it but there is a town in the States that only exists because so many people showed up looking for it that eventually some of them settled there... and now it's a town for real. |
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<slightly off-topic>
There's a short story that is the "person" version of this (that I can't remember the name or author of...): a "time viewer" is invented, allowing people to find out their entire ancestral history. A company using it has the slogan "An Ancestor for Everyone"; assuming that everyone will have some-one at least mildly famous or important in their family tree. Except they find one guy (possibly the CEO of the company...) who has absolutely no-one famous in his past, going right back to cave-men.
<sot/> |
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I'll make you a deal; I'll find the name of that town if you find the name of that story. |
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Nonononono. I'm not giving up that easily. |
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If you click on the Damboring link, you'll see that someone has
written some boilerplate text which says "weve put together
some of the things nearby that you can see or do while you are
here". |
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Try clicking on one of those buttons. Any of them. Go on. |
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And credit, please, for nominative determinism. |
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//who has absolutely no-one famous in his past, going right
back to cave-men// |
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Not possible, mitochondrial Eve, everyone has her at least. So
when was this story written? |
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Damboring has a nature reserve. |
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Is there anything actually in it ... ? |
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Well, there is a place called Nob End (see link) but it's main
claim to fame is the proliferation of Blue Fleabane. |
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I don't know - it would be interesting to find out. Hence... |
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Here ya go 2 fries - Agloe New York [link] |
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//Damboring has a nature reserve.// |
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And its nature is to be boring. Damn boring. Without
reserve. |
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That's why the idea states "the location (of a minimum size) with absolutely no claim to fame whatsoever." |
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So to be in the competition, it has to be a real place, not a map trap. |
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This idea sounds remarkably similar to the Village of the Year competition. Have you been chatting with old people again 8th? I've warned you about that before! |
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It's nothing like "Best Village of the Year". It's not even "Worst Village of the Year" because even a collection of soot-coated tar-paper shacks clustered round a fetid channel of stagnant radioactive sewage is distinguished by its awfulness (plus a sign saying "Welcome to Redditch"). |
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What have you been feeding them, exactly? |
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Yes, Agloe New York. If you can't make it there, you can't make it anywhere. |
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But, by virtue of being "The World's Most Uninteresting Location" this place will become of general interest and will become a bustling tourist attraction, thronging with bovine masses posing for selfies. The place where nothing *really* happens will be the second most uninteresting place in the world. |
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In this very spot where I am standing, thousands of years ago,
nothing ever happened. |
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Danny Kaye (Merry Andrew movie) |
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Hicksville Road in Far Rockaway. |
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And then there's always Timbuktu in Africa |
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// this place will become of general interest and will become a bustling tourist attraction, thronging with bovine masses posing for selfies // |
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Yes, we already pointed that out in the original idea, hence the suggestion of the subsequent use of low yield Special Tactical stores. |
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So, like "Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough", except not friendly. |
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Maybe not friendly, but certainly compassionate. If you exist in somewhere like Slough, instantaneous annihilation is something you probably hope for all the time, but you're too depressed and apathetic to do anything about it. |
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Betjemen had it spot on. It wasn't fit for humans then, and it isn't now. Even the cockroaches have left. |
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