Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Petting slaughterhouse

From farm to table
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[Note: 'Petting' in the title suggests a child-friendly place. Others may disagree about whether a slaughterhouse would be a good place to take a child (to watch!) - I suspect that my older children (aged 5 and 6) would be fascinated]
This would be a place where the visitor could see farm animals and then, from walkways running through the slaughterhouse, see the animals killed and butchered. The restaurant would serve a selection of meat dishes.
hippo, Sep 10 2002

U-Pick Cattle Ranch http://www.halfbake...ck_20Cattle_20Ranch
Related. [bristolz, Sep 10 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Somewhat quarter-baked here, near the beginning of the episode http://animatedtv.a...eekly/aa081800a.htm
Bart: "I think I read somewhere that cows like being killed." [Worldgineer, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Can you get mini boltguns? I'm sure a child could manage to take out a small calf or a sheep by itself if properly supervised. They could definitely do the bit where you hang up a cow and "drain" it by slitting its throat.
sild, Sep 10 2002

       "Would sir care to choose his cow?"
General Washington, Sep 10 2002

       Several nights a week my father would slaughter a sheep, and I would delight in watching the whole episode. It was very educational watching how the whole thing came apart.   

       A special treat for me, when the stomach was discarded on the ground, was to slit it open and see what the sheep had eaten that day.   

       I also discovered that if you take a sheep's head out of a wheelbarrow the next day and tried to poke it's eye out with a stick, it had already become to hard to burst.   

       I think it's those flashbacks of my antics as a child which have made me not a very big meat eater today. I always make sure the servings I give myself have no visible bones or veins, to avoid my mind reconstructing the animal during my meal.
Helium, Sep 10 2002

       [Helium] - I suspect that this is the end result that hippo is after, and I would hope that his restaurant would also serve veggie dishes for all the kiddies put off flesh.   

       btw: // see what the sheep had eaten that day //   

sild, Sep 10 2002

       Helium, that's a great image, one I haven't seen done in a movie yet: some borderline vegetarian is looking at a bit of kidney trembling on her fork, when it begins to reassemble into a whole mammal, inside outwards, like in The Invisible Man...
General Washington, Sep 10 2002

       We think this would be a good way of helping to restore the link between the animals in the fields and the food on the plate - a connection that many urban dwellers have lost. While it may seem on the surface to be brutal and in poor taste, it's actually a very good idea. And you don't have to go. You just should. It might turn some people into vegetarians. It's never bothered us. To eat meat without understanding (and not wanting to know) what happens to the animal to provide that meat is hypocritical.   

       sild: Sorry, but you can't get "mini" boltguns. They have to be a minimum size to be reliably effective; and the ones we have have quite a recoil. Young teenagers could handle them with reasonable instruction. Unless you just wanted to kill rabbits, where you could make a tiny version.
8th of 7, Sep 10 2002

       //To eat meat without understanding (and not wanting to know) what happens to the animal to provide that meat is hypocritical.//
Yes, but that understanding should start long before the slaughterhouse. Humane slaughter does not make up for a lifetime in an intensive farm.
angel, Sep 10 2002

       angel: Yes. Good point.
8th of 7, Sep 10 2002

       Ach.. Helium, I'm gonna have nightmares now about that.
waugsqueke, Sep 10 2002

       [sild] - I wasn't really trying to put forward vegetarianism, more the "link between the animals in the fields and the food on the plate" of which [8th of 7] spake.
hippo, Sep 10 2002

       I'm in favour of the concept, at least as a first step in getting rid of slaughterhouses altogether, but I'm not so sure about the age range of the target audience though. It could be one of those things that sounds fascinating in concept but ends up giving your kids nightmares for months afterwards. Mind you, I'm not entirely sure at what age that wouldn't happen.
DrBob, Sep 10 2002

       I know a group of middle teens who at a summer camp watched a video depicting the details of mass meat farms and slaughter houses. None of them have eaten commercial meat products since. Most of them were not put off meat for its own sake, but rather they refuse to support modern high-density meat farming practices. Meat from free-ranged livestock and wild game would be perfectly acceptable.
BigBrother, Sep 10 2002

       Quite a sick idea! Nice work!   

       I should add, hippo, that your 'petting slaughterhouse' would have the added benefit of putting hundreds or even thousands of witnesses in the slaughterhouse at any given time. These witnesses could spot the inevitable, bloody man-meets-machine accident, and describe it to medical and legal personnel on behalf of the victim. The victim would thus have a much better chance of pursuing a workplace-injury lawsuit against the owners of the slaughterhouse ... whether or not said victim could communicate in English. (As those of you who read "Fast Food Nation" will remember, most slaughterhouse workers currently can't read or write English, and most can barely speak it.)   

       As for my own carnivorous tendencies, I found that my consumption of red meat actually increased after I read "Fast Food Nation". I never did like fast food, and still don't eat at fast-food joints; but that book gave me the worst craving for a really nice New York strip steak, medium-rare. Mmmm.   

       I know, I'm perverse ...
1percent, Sep 10 2002

       Well, I suppose it's better than "Pet Slaughterhouse".
half, Sep 10 2002

       <Hannibal>Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming...?</Hannibal>

One of my favo(u)rite "commercials" which was on Saturday Night Live when it was funny - oh, around a quarter century ago - was an "ad" for Dell Stator's Rabbit Hut. In it, a family picks the Rabbits which they'll be having for dinner, and the waitstaff sings back-up (to Dan Ayckroyd as) Dell Stator - here's the little ditty.
Enjoy a roto-broiled lagomorph meal at Dell Stator's Rabbit Hut
*Dell Stator's, Dell Stator's, Dell Stator's Rabbit Hut*
thumbwax, Sep 10 2002

       Hurray, another 'meat bad' rant. Not necessarily hippo's original idea, but that's what it turned into.   

       I am a carnivore. I know where meat comes from; my father worked as the plant designer at a meat packing plant. I've watched various things being gutted and skinned. I'm glad that nature has provided such good things to eat.   

       Most herbivores have no other purpose in live than to end as a carnivore's meal. The only difference is that humans are too numerous to allow hunter-gatherer behavior anymore.   

       Ever wonder why so many herbivores are slow and stupid?   

       Cows have been bred for thousands of years to be meat factories. If you turned all of them loose, the only effect would be an increase in predators, briefly.   

       Humans are omnivores. Get over it.
StarChaser, Sep 11 2002

       ...and they used to huddle in caves when it got dark.
DrBob, Sep 11 2002

       // Hurray, another 'meat bad' rant. //   

       No, we don't think it is. We don't see any evidence of ranting here. There is a polite and reasonable discussion. No-one's ranting about turning veggie; just pointing out that if *some* people do see how meat gets from the field to their plate they are less inclined to eat it.   

       // and they used to huddle in caves when it got dark //   

       The only difference now is that we build our own caves - and they have cable TV.
8th of 7, Sep 11 2002

       I used to run a falafal stall with my (Israeli) (ex)girlfriend, and spent the summers hanging out at festivals and events all over the UK. One weekend we found ourselves at a country show in Shropshire setting up next to the baby animal petting zoo. You know the type, all fluffy bunnies, lambs, calves, and baby goats. opposite us was a stall with a pig on a spit, and assorted bits of dead animal for sale wrapped in bread and dripping with saturated fats. All weekend I watched smiling , rosy faced children patting and petting various farmyard baby animals and then joining the queue to eat one or the other of them. so, nice idea. But at the end of the day, people LIKE eating animal fat, and will not make the connection between meat, and dead animals, and ill health. At least until they get heart disease or bowel cancer or something.   

       Yes, we are omniverous, but there is a big difference between an occasional feast on wooly mammoth during the ice-age and a daily diet of "intensively recovered animal product".   

       We sold about 10 falafel all weekend. made up for it at Glastonbury the following month tho'.
briandamage, Jan 27 2003

       This is a great idea, but i think it would be best if each child was assigned an animal. After spending time with their new animal friend they would escourt their animal through the slaughterhouse, assisting in each step of the slaughter process. At the end each child would cook and eat their animal. YUM! It would be educational and delicious, (but possibly quite disturbing!)
JesseOQ, Jul 31 2003

       If you are not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?
ZomGlo, Feb 06 2004

       ZomGlo, your comment is the pithiest one thus far.
jacksheet, Feb 06 2004

       Pith on you!
ZomGlo, Feb 08 2004

       A friend of mine designed something like this as a project in his architecture degree. His rationale was that whether people chose to be vegetarian or not, they should be able to see what's actually involved in producing meat, and so make an informed decision. His design simply had one wall of the 'production line' made of glass. He chickened out of allowing people to see the actual deed itself though, which I reckoned was going to disapoint half his audience.
spacemoggy, May 14 2004

       "chickened out" - ho ho ho
hippo, May 14 2004

       I sold my loved, but worn out Buick to the wrecking yard. And walking away to take the bus home, I unintentionally saw it crushed to death. It was a horrible feeling.   

       This pet and slash thing would be worse than that. I felt bad all day.
popbottle, Dec 16 2016

       perfect [+]
Voice, Dec 17 2016

       //If you are not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?//   

       I can't help wondering whether in the intervening years since this was posted ZomGlo has taken his argument to its logical conclusion and become a cannibal.
Loris, Dec 17 2016

       [popbottle] that's sad - what model of Buick?
hippo, Dec 17 2016

       Green and rust colored Century Buick. Real Rust.
popbottle, Dec 17 2016


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