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OKVesuvius

An online dating site that matches people based on data collected by the NSA
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There are a lot of lonely people in the U.S. Regular dating sites are full of liars and fake profiles. OKVesuvius would eliminate this because all your information would come from what the NSA collected about you. With help from algorithms on their quantum computer (which is code named Vesuvius) it could bring people together who never thought they had so much in common. The service could get so good that the government could charge a monthly fee for it, generating badly needed revenue.
lepton, Sep 22 2013

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       I don't know about the US, but I'm not sure I'd trust the UK government. If they can't get my tax code right on the second attempt, I'm not sure I'd trust them vis a vis my sexual orientation.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 22 2013
  

       And why 'Vesuvius'?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 22 2013
  

       Vesuvius is the quantum computer the NSA is building in Utah that's supposed to be able to crack every type of encryption.
lepton, Sep 22 2013
  

       No one really wants to date someone thats right for them. We always want somone a little bit better don't we?   

       I used to store very candid but exculpatory details in my okcupid answers, on the hope that it could come in handy if colleagues were trying to dig up dirt on me.   

       I ended up taking them down though mainly because most preliminary digging must be done by bots, and I tend to think the do a lousy job of profiling me.
bob, Sep 22 2013
  

       // able to crack every type of encryption //   

       "Cracking encryption" isn't the problem, as one-time pads are literally uncrackable, no matter how many PetaFlops you throw at the problem.   

       The problem is actually one of detecting the messages of interest in the huge volumes of data shunted round your planet every microsecond. A bit of basic steganography is more than good enough to defeat the snoopers.
8th of 7, Sep 22 2013
  

       So the NSA (who'd have thought that Scrabble players could raise that much money??) fund the development of a super duper quantum computer.   

       This leads to the accelerated development of cheap consumer models, capable of implementing quantum encryption.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 22 2013
  

       // who'd have thought that Scrabble players could raise that much money?? //   

       "CROWDFUNDING" … 26 points, and on a triple word score, so that's 78.   

       Your go.
8th of 7, Sep 22 2013
  
      
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