Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Porno Puppets

Hand jobs help horny handicapped.
  [vote for,

Our corps of dedicated professionals aims to fulfill the natural, erotic needs of society’s sensory-challenged, and hires only the most dexterous of former mimes, croupiers and Kung Fusians. The employees’ tools of trade are anatomically-correct hand puppets of various shades and builds, (un)dressed in sensuous doll clothes.

For example, a blind client wishing to “view” a pornographic movie or video would be close-at-hand accompanied by one of our staff, to illustrate in detail the action on the screen. By hands-on following the figurine charade, no nuances of plot or emotion will be missed by the non-seeing patron.

Also communication-handicapped customer’s prurient needs are satisfied. Many deaf clients endorse our nimble use of glove marionettes to narrate telephone sex. Those with speech impediments may also don one or two of our puppets to better convey their ardent responses and desires.

FarmerJohn, Aug 01 2003

For [dag] - I think he was called Stretch Armstrong http://www.bigredto...nfo.pl?stretchindex
I had Stretch Monster [gnomethang, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Those long, cold winter nights down on the farm must just fly by.
DrBob, Aug 01 2003

       From your recent anno in another idea, should we assume the puppets would be baby-shaped?
FloridaManatee, Aug 01 2003

       I certainly hope not.
FarmerJohn, Aug 01 2003

       plot nuances? plot?
lintkeeper2, Aug 01 2003

       It's kinda sad to see the jobs Miss Piggy gets these days.
sartep, Aug 01 2003


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