h a l f b a k e r y
Getting blown into traffic is never fun.
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I've come to realize we're all motivated by chemicals.
Dopamine is a big fave and you can get it all sorts of
It's so addictive that some people even get their fix
through negative, even self destructive activity. Some
resort to cutting themselves or getting into
sadomasochism. I myself
watch CNN occasionally.
So how can the government make money off of this? The
OOMEFBAE would release daily reports on activities,
products, traditions, foods and anything else that made
people happy and give long winded scientific reports
registered scienticians about how they need to knock it
and most importantly, tell other people to knock it off.
I've lived around humans long enough to know that, far
from them telling this agency to fuck off, many would
For one thing, they could have a new thing to virtue
about ever day. "I see you're still petting puppies. Did
know this is a symbol of speciesist superiority? You're
telling that little dog you are better than it is. Why?
Because your species has nuclear weapons and poisons
See? Tell me this wouldn't be a wildly popular
agency over night.
Actually petting puppies might be "orderist" superiority
signaling? I get those confused.
||Ray, has anybody EVER got anything deleted from this
||The idea is to have an office of making everybody feel
the little twist at the end was a joke, the Democrat party
isn't just about making people feel bad, it does lots of
horrible stuff too. It also promises utopia and heaven on
Earth if you just give them that next election landslide
and tax increase.
||This would be an agency that does nothing but research
things that make people happy and release information
about why it must stop. That's all it would do.
||It wouldn't profess to be making the world a better place,
just to making people miserable.
||And it would be wildly popular, believe me.
||Yes, things have been deleted.
||Well, that's what bones are for my friend. Feel free.
||Tomorrow is pi day. Pi should really be only half-tau, you
||I'll take your criticism stoically. The joke at the end
does take away
from the idea.
||Ok, I agree. It's gone, not because I crave buns, but
||There. Now good day to you sir. (Affixes monocle,
||Punctuation: "poisons the Earth".
||So an agency to go to when Ecstasy is just that tab too much.
||LL "Tab too much". Very good.
||//Dopamine is a big fave and you can get it all sorts of
ways. It's so addictive that some people even get their fix
through negative, even self destructive activity.//
||Guilt is a phenomenal way of making dopamine. Which
probably explains Europe's fantastic cathedral output when
the Catholic church was doing daily guilt ceremonies. I can't
help but think that slow-release speed would be easier to
fine tune though.
||Did you ever stop to think how much of the church
with its guilt, original sin and other nonsense is
mirrored in the socialist dogma being sold today?
Original sin has been replaced with "racial privilege"
but the message is the same. "Salvation and
forgiveness is available here. Ask about our
affordable monthly payment plans."
||Stupid people have been getting taken advantage of
by evil people since the sun first rose on civilization.
I don't see that dance ending any time soon. It'll have
a new coat of paint and cleaned up image every few
generations but the formula will be the same. "You're
a horrible person, give me your money."
||The church is a side-show of the social contract, so its not
surprising to me that they sho some similarities.
||Logically, there are three ways of looking at guilt.
||1. "There is nothing really wrong with the human world. If you
think there is, then you should learn to stop caring about it."
2. "There are things wrong with the human world, but they are all
someone else's fault." (Socialists, Capitalists, Jews, religious
people, inadequate people, whoever - but definitely not you, me or
any of our friends)
3. Original Sin
||Original Sin looks better when you compare it to the alternatives.
||//The church is a side-show of the social
||It is, and some churches appear to be evolving with
the times in a good way.
I went to my cousin's wedding yesterday and
was struck by the philosophical, not religious nature
of the ceremony. The church was in a very posh
upper class area where I don't think drinking poison
and dancing with snakes would go over very well, but
still, it appeared to me that, at least at this place,
the sermon was all about practicality and logic. I
agreed with everything the preacher said and,
interestingly, not one mention of god.
||The contrast I saw was that politics supply only
negativity these days. At least at this church, it was
all about "be kind and supportive of each other, your
family and community, understand nobody is perfect
but take the challenge of working with them for the
betterment of all involved." etc.
||Almost felt like taking the family there on a regular
basis. If I could afford it. Plus when football starts
that sort of takes up my Sundays.